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HERO inside everyone just waiting to change the wrold; CLI (Northwestern )


ankitrohan1 2 / 3  
Jan 20, 2013   #1
CLI is a service-learning program focused on social issues, leadership and civic engagement. What do you hope to gain from your participation in CLI?

Hero inside us waiting to change the world; CLI (Northwestern) application

CLI is a service-learning program focused on social issues, leadership and civic engagement. What do you hope to gain from your participation in CLI?
I believe that everyone has a hero inside them just waiting to change the world...

I was happy, but something was missing. I wasn't really sure what it was or even what I wanted it to be. So, I went looking. One summer, when my family and I went to India, I had the most incredible adventure I had ever experienced. I met beautiful, smiling children running all over the place and truly enjoying themselves. However, I also met children who would never learn how to read or get a chance at a basic education, and because of that, would have zero opportunity for the rest of their lives/their whole entire lives. I also saw kids who had to walk for hours and hours each way, every day to fetch water that was so dirty and could probably kill them, and often did.

When I got back to North America, I was shattered. Just walking into a grocery store I noticed the shelves of food and the abundance that we have, and worst of all, the massive displays of clean drinking water that I knew those kids could never even imagine existing. I was paralyzed. I wanted to do something but I had no idea what... All I knew was that it was time, time to bring a movement of change. Everyone has a hero inside of them; but sometimes, they just don't know what to do.

Through this internship I hope to have the opportunity to use my knowledge in a socially constructive way. My hopes are that I can have the opportunity to explore the social issues that obstruct the development of our communities and societies today. In addition, I hope to learn effective tools and strategies for community development and positive social change. Of course, this will begin by breaking apart such issues. Understanding and examining the root causes, adverse effects, and practical solutions to specific social problems will allow me to tackle these issues head on. It is in my hopes that CLI will provide me with real-world encounters of community issues, an academic foundation of methods to achieve social change, and the experience to take on civic responsibility.

To be able to lead in social reform and development, I hope to gain and develop strong leadership skills that will make me more equipped to be a better informed and more engaged citizen in communities by me and around the world. I also hope to discover different ways to become more active in communities. Hopefully, this internship will allow me to gain exposure to theories of leadership that I can use to identify resources, develop projects, and network with others in my community in order to facilitate community development.

So, it's time to begin that movement of change. Though I don't currently have one big plan to save the world, newfound leadership skills and experience with social issues may be all it takes for that hero, and countless others, to know what to do.

How is this? Grammatical errors, spelling errors, structural errors? Anything else? Thanks!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 20, 2013   #2
I believe that everyone has a hero inside them just waiting to change the world...

Good start :)

I was happy, but something was missing. I wasn't really sure what it was or even what I wanted it to be.

.. I think you better attend to this line again because it does not properly deliver your idea. My suggestion;
I had a happy and contented life, but always felt that something was missing. I failed to figure out this missing part for a long time.

One summer, when my family and I went to India, I had the most incredible adventure I had ever experienced.

You have too many "I had" s.... Also you should connect this line to your story better;
It was this particular summer in which I visited India with my family that provided me with the insight about what I've been missing all those years.

Now tell your experience in India

Also, make sure you don't open a new thread under the same topic and same contents. It is not allowed as per the forum rules and you may be suspended for doing that.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 21, 2013   #3
I like your beginning. It catches the reader's eye.:)

I was happy, but something was missing. I wasn't really sure what it was or even what I wanted it to be. So, I went looking. .... I'm not quite sure I understand what you are trying to say here.

I also saw kids who had to walk for hours and hours each way, every day to fetch water that was so dirty and could probably kill them, and often did. ... I like the emotion.. Perhaps it would be better if you cut off the "each way" part. hmmm...

Overall I think it's a good essay. :D


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