Babson College Supplement:
Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:
Hey! My name is ------ and I am a 17 year old who shares the same business vigor like you do. Unfortunately, I do not know you name yet, but I am confident we will become sincere and honest friends. Before I begin writing about myself, I would like to firstly congratulate you for being accepted into an extremely prestigious college which we will be calling our home for at least four years. I think we deserve a pat on our backs and I undoubtedly expect the excitement which is growing within me is also growing within you. Almost everybody who I have met who has been to university, have said the that their university years were some of the best of their lives. Till this day they reminisce about these years. That's why I think it is extremely important for you to know the person who will be your roommate and your constant companion in the major part of these years.
If I had describe myself in a few words, risk-taking, friendly and motivated would be it. I am a person who loves new opportunity. I take risks academically, personally and in everyday matters. I feel excited when facing a difficult task, when doing things differently or simply when facing the unknown. When taking these risks I understand that failure is a possibility, but I like to think of it as, one less wrong method found on my way before I reach my goal. I am an optimist because I believe if you have the will and determination (and an ounce of luck) to achieve a goal the universe will conspire to aid you. With that, I acknowledge that I am a highly motivated and driven person, if I want to achieve something or reach a goal, I put all of my energy, knowledge, experience and determination into it. As your roommate and friend, I will try my best to be your foremost supporter as a listener, advisor and your constant companion. I will accept you without trying to change you. From those nights where we celebrate our recent test results to those nights where can't understand what's wrong between us, I promise to be there for you. We are about to embark on some of the most important years of our lives, a time where we can shape our future, a time where we open countless doors of opportunities and time when we will undoubtedly need each other. I also understand that you are a unique individual and your interests will not necessarily coincide with mine and I am prepared to face possible difficulties. I am coming from Thailand, a country which is completely different than USA. It will take me time to adjust to the new environment, new culture and new requirements. I hope you will understand my difficulties and support me as I strive to become a better student, a better roommate and a better friend.
I was recommended by a friend to apply to Babson College and while researching Babson College something clicked inside me. Of the numerous universities I had researched, Babson College stood out among the pack because of it's values, ideals, academic quality, international reputation, exceptional teachers and strong entrepreneurial culture (FME Program). At Babson College the students are being nurtured to be the future, to lead organizations and to create organizations. The passionate motivation in the faculty to help students be successful with Babson's strong vision, core values and it's emphasis on innovation, collaboration and sustainability make Babson College an excellent place for me to learn, grow and be successful in. Babson College will help me expand my horizons, my vision and discover new ideas and knowledge, for which I am ready to undertake with you, my friend. When we will graduate from Babson College we will be young and strong and on our way to create our own history, so why not start now?
Sincerely Your New Friend,
Thank you very much for the help...
If I had to describe myself in a few words, risk-taking, friendly and motivated would be it.
Apart from that, your essay is good. But, a bit generic , don't you think ? The admissions officers will probably see a thousand like this one ... How will they remember it ? Try making a little bit more original ...
Take a look at my letter to a roommate; I've tried to make it look a little bit more "crazy" ; because I figured all the hard-work and motivation qualities were already mentionned in other essays.