I really wanted to go off the beaten path with this one because I can only imagine how many similar essays the admissions officers must read every year. My first concern is whether or not it leaves the reader with any hint of my work experience, in short if it answers the question.
It is 153 words too, is that ok?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Dear Jeff, (Jeff's my boss)
Below you will find a few of the painful realizations I wish you would have conveniently pointed out to me upon becoming a part of the Smoothie King crew. Hopefully this will help you avoid a high turnover rate with your future employees.
For starters, a high-power blender can convert a hodgepodge of fruits into a smoothie, but it can also tell a customer, on my behalf, that those crushed strawberries and pineapples matter more than the customer trying to attract my attention.
Oh, and how working an employee by themselves on a gorgeous afternoon when they have not yet learned to use the ancient cash register inevitably leads to nine pairs of eyes concentrating their stares onto my damp forehead.
Lastly, when a customer scrunches their eyebrows that means they are still deciding on their choice, but if they lean to a side they want your help.