Please take a look at this essay! It desperately needs editing...
Prompt: Since the Program in Liberal Medical Education espouses a broad-based liberal education, please describe your fields of interest in both the sciences and the liberal arts. Be specific about what courses and aspects of the program will be woven into a potential educational plan.
How many gigabytes of memory does the human brain have? If there isn't enough, the doctors might have to go to the store to and buy a few memory cards, maybe even get a new graphics card while they are at it. Though it may seem a bit absurd, the connection is undeniable; computers are evolving to be more like the human brain. The two pound lump of tissue in our skull has the capacity to change the world, alter history, and even invent the very computers that attempt to emulate it. In light of all of this, I can honestly say that I am still in disbelief. My zest to study medicine led to my interest in the brain, but that same ambition revealed to me a new world of history and hertz. Thus, as I pursue my studies in the PLME program at Brown University I hope to engage in classes that study history, neuroscience, and even computer science.
History is fundamentally a study of the human condition. Actions humans take aim to better our lives in this world and even the next. These qualities have always mesmerized me because history is like a scientific or medical dissection. I hope to study history at Brown to gain exposure to unique perspectives that have not only influenced history, but science and medicine as well. That's why I want to jump right in to courses like "Eating Cultures" or "Drinking in Britain and America." These seemingly offbeat classes have a lot to do with the actions figureheads in the world have taken and they hold particular interest with me because they directly impact both culture and health. But, delving into cultural history is not simply what captivates me; it is, additionally, the ability to trace the human thought process through generations of thinkers and philosophers, movers and shakers, evildoers and patron saints.
While studying history, I also want to explore classes in neuroscience and computer science. I am increasingly convinced that the new frontier of medicine, especially neuroscience is found in both, the brain and the computer. Mixing computers with the mind is the treatment path of the future, as it allows medicine to mix with near-human micro processing technology and the best surgical techniques.
The computer science program at Brown is also especially fond of multidisciplinary study. To me, this means being able to mix classes like "Computational Molecular Biology" with "Computational Neurosciences" in the neuroscience department. Multidisciplinary approaches like these are essential to thinking in the analog and digital worlds, but also to diagnose and treat disorders in the medical world. As a high school student with a limited access to in-depth approaches to computer science and neuroscience, Brown University courses that treat the subjects as interrelated and inseparable elements of medicine are exactly what I can't wait for.
Computers are increasingly becoming more like the mind, with memory, processing, and even emotions. I want to be a part of these new developments of the future, but still maintain a strong grasp of the mind's dynamic past. An education that mixes past with the future- that's what I've always been about.
pbhat
The computer science program at Brown is also especially fond of multidisciplinary study .
I'm not sure if you should put this sentence in your essay. After all, they are Brown's courses. Do you really have to tell them what they already know??
However, I really love your idea of puting neroscience and computer science together. It was really great how you related the brain to the computer.
One thing that I was a bit confused about was the history. I read the title and I expected a history and neuroscience combo but instead, you want to study computer science?? I'm not really sure what you want to do with history. Maybe you should explain it a bit better...
Hope this helps!
Good Luck!
I love the beginning, but I have to challenge you to do an operation on that first paragraph. Right when you get to here...
The two pound lump of tissue in...
... you are no longer talking about how it can be compared to a computer. You are taling about something different. So the thing to do is put the cursor there before "The two pound lump" and hit the enter button for a paragraph break. Then, go back and add your thesis sentence, or a few sentences to what is left of the intro, and end the fist paragraph after the new thesis sentence.
Let the part about the five pound lump be in paragraph 2, which can be all about how your career plan is complex, like a brain. Or some other creative thing.
You write very well!
