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HKUST Undergraduate Personal Statement for Engineering Courses


putrikhansa 1 / 1  
Nov 11, 2022   #1
This is my first time using this website. I hope that I can get some help with reviewing my personal statement that I need to submit ASAP.

PS I need a recommendation for the title too.

PERSONAL Statement



Back in my primary school days, I used to be in a class called 1-Adaptable, and only recently did I understand the true meaning of being an adaptable person. As I grew up moving from one town to another, I completed my 12 years of study in 6 different schools with various curriculums. I have always managed to adapt and socialise with my new community in a brief period. I understood the importance of being agile and flexible when interacting with unfamiliar spaces. I have fallen in love with challenges since a very young age and grew to love them more as opportunities kept coming.

During my high school years, I enrolled in an acceleration class, completing six semesters in only two years. In addition to the school curriculum, I also took two different extracurriculars, Science Club and English Club. I became the representative for the astronomy field during the Al Azhar Science Olympiad and National Educational Science Olympiad. Twice a week, a particular class was conducted to study for this, reviewing past examination papers and solving them together with other club members. I was so immersed every time I tried to solve them, sometimes succeeding and more often asking for help. Even now, an astronomy paper seems to be filled with unsolvable conundrums for me. Yet it has brought me the precious experience of joining a scientific olympiad. Not long after, I was chosen to be a part of the school English debate contingent during the National School Debating Championship. Together with my teammates, we faced motions about environmental sustainability and education. I need not mention the outcome of all the competitions because, in the end, what matters is the positive impact it has brought to my life. I learned that in this marathon, I am competing with my past self, striving to improve by reflecting and improving. It was needlessly synchronising my pace with everyone else.

My adaptability skill, along with my strong-willed nature, has indeed become a great help in identifying solutions to unforeseen problems throughout my life. No matter how the surroundings are, I will always strive to achieve my goal, the satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is addicting. My parents are engineers, and I have been fascinated by their neat and dedicated work ethics since my tender years. My mom especially manages to influence me to always be organised and function well in stressful situations through her actions.

As I have observed, the primary aim of engineering is to be adaptable as our technology development is increasing rapidly. Hence the way to succeed in the field is to be persevering and innovative when opposed to problems. With the recently proposed Industry 5.0 concept, I find myself intrigued by its pillars. It reflects that Industry 5.0 is human-centric, resilient, and sustainable. As explained, a resilient strategy is agile and resilient with flexible and adaptable technologies (Forbes, 2022). In correlation with the concept, my field of interest brought me to a goal of becoming an engineer. I understood that my fundamental values have gotten in line with the intent; therefore, this is a future career that is both promising and enjoyable. Through this path, I can see myself innovating and contributing to the economic and technology fields, expanding my potential to help with the betterment of our world.

Now that I have my goal in mind, I began looking for ways to bring myself closer to achieving it. In harmony, Hong Kong is a country that excels in technology development and is globally recognised. Hence HKUST's reputation had me caught in awe, for instance. The endless opportunity for internships and research provided made me excited just by imagining them. Last but not least, besides being the best university in Hong Kong for Science and Engineering, HKUST offers a diverse student environment which intrigues me even more.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Nov 11, 2022   #2
A personal statement does not need a title because the content should be responsive to the prompt provided by the university. So there is no need for anybody to help find a title for this essay. The focus should be on representing the proper academic goals, professional projection, and uniformity with the university objectives which can help represent the preparedness of the student to attend college life based on his chosen major.

The essay will benefit from a revision that focuses on paragraphs 3 onwards. That is because these are the paragraphs that offer the reviewer the best insight into the development of the interest of the student both on a personal and professional level. He should remove the in-text citation for information though since this is not a research paper but a personal insight explanation.

When considering the university choice, the paragraph that pertains to it does not deliver beyond generalized infomation that would reflect both an unfamiliarity with the university objectives, its teaching goals, and the personal considerations the student had beyond the common when opting to enroll at this university. The overall essay just does not work in the way that it should.
OP putrikhansa 1 / 1  
Nov 12, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thank you very much for your feedback. I have rewrite my essay, since there is a word limit, I need to shorten a few parts. I would be very thankful if you can evaluate it once more.

Back in my primary school days, I used to be in a class called 1-Adaptable, and only recently did I understand the true meaning of being an adaptable person. As I grew up moving from one town to another, I completed my 12 years of study in 6 different schools with various curriculums. I have always managed to adapt and socialise with my new community in a brief period. I understood the importance of being agile and flexible when interacting with unfamiliar spaces. Having fallen in love with challenges since a very young age and grew to love them more as opportunities kept coming.

During my high school years, I enrolled in an acceleration class, completing six semesters in only two years. In addition to the school curriculum, I also took two different extracurriculars, Science Club and English Club. I became the representative for the astronomy field during the Al Azhar Science Olympiad and National Educational Science Olympiad. Twice a week, a particular class was conducted to study for this, reviewing past examination papers and solving them together with other club members. I was so immersed every time I tried to solve them, sometimes succeeding and more often asking for help. Even now, an astronomy paper seems to be filled with unsolvable conundrums for me. Yet it has brought me the precious experience of joining a scientific olympiad. Not long after, I was chosen to be a part of the school English debate contingent during the National School Debating Championship. Together with my teammates, we faced motions about environmental sustainability and education. I need not mention the outcome of all the competitions because, in the end, what matters is the positive impact it has brought to my life. I learned that in this marathon I am competing with my past self, striving to improve by reflecting and improving. It was needlessly synchronising my pace with everyone else, allowing myself to take breaths in between. Although full of unforeseen obstacles, there is the urge to always keep going towards my goal, the satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is addicting.

Coming from a family with an engineering background, I have been fascinated by my parents' neat and dedicated work ethics since my tender years. They have set the perfect example of what I picture of living as an adult. My mom especially manages to influence me to always be organised and well-functioned in stressful situations through her actions.

As I have observed, the primary aim of engineering is to be adaptable as our technology development is increasing rapidly. The recently proposed Industry 5.0 concept reflects that it is agile and resilient with flexible and adaptable technologies. In correlation with the concept, my field of interest brought me to a dream of majoring in Electrical and Computer Engineering. I understood that my fundamental values have gotten in line with the goal; therefore, this is a future career that is both promising and enjoyable. To this end, I feel myself more intrigued with the development of microelectronics as this field produces even more sophisticated devices while consuming the least amount of space.

Now that I have my goal in mind, I began looking for ways to bring myself closer to achieving it. In harmony, Hong Kong is a country that excels in technology development and is globally recognised. Hence HKUST's reputation had me caught in awe for an instant. Moreover, their curriculum focuses on passion and practical research experience with endless opportunities for internships. With significant faculty involvement and support from its research infrastructure, HKUST has been creating a strong basis in their research on nanofabrication. On the social side, HKUST offers a diverse multicultural environment with a recognizable number of international students. Besides, the location of the campus itself brings more joy to me, HKUST pampers their students' with views of the water bordered by mountains. Enjoying this natural scenery is a personal way to reserve the study life balance during periods where academic pressure feels too suffocating.


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