ANY CORRECT OR SUGGESTION??
Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
Holden Caulfield, the protagonist in the novel, The Catcher in the Rye, views the world as a potentially pure and innocent place overridden by money and power. The hypocrisy and ugliness of the adult world around him is unbearable. He strongly believes that basic human kindness, rather than materialism, is vital to a happy existence. In the same way, I stand with his idealism. His optimistic view of the world is not corrupt yet; he believes he will eventually find the true meaning of life that he seeks. As I seek with him, I found my meaning of life is by learning new knowledge to persuade my future career as a physician. My goal is to be able to help sick patients.
Holden is an intelligent, sensitive teenager; however, he describes himself as a perpetual failure. I can relate to his experiences, when everything has collapsed and my academics, family relationships, and friendships have been challenged. Holden is told by his family, friends, and teachers that he will always be a failure, but he does not give up his efforts to seek the good things in life. His unwillingness to give up inspires me to try to overcome my obstacles of being rejected, worried, and scared.
He is afraid of becoming part of a phony, superficial world full of cruelty. He criticizes adults as being insecure and phony. He doesn't want to become "successful" like his father, who happens to be a lawyer. He thinks his father only cares about money and not about fighting for virtue of justice of the people. He fears that his future career will be based on money instead of passion. However, I have a passion. My intents are for well being of my patients and to help them get better every day. Holden ran away from home and school to escape the problems of reality, but I face problems instead of running away. His running away from home and school didn't solve his problems, but facing them and dealing with them would have solved at least some of his problems. Others might see Holden as an immature rebel, but I believe his ideas contain some truth, even though he took the wrong actions.
Holden struggled to hold onto the innocent and naiveté. He believed that there is still good in the world. I concur with him. I can make this a better place by working hard and having a positive outlook. His ideas allow me to view the world as a place with the potential to be bright. I will always stand strong next to my truthfulness. Sometimes, I mistakenly make frank, lack of filter remarks about my friends, angering them, but my friends and I appreciate honest statements over lies. This helps balance out the phoniness in the world. I face all my hardships, as I will persuade my career with caring not for the greed for money or power. Running away from my problems and avoiding them like Holden does is not the right path. I intend to face them head on and struggle through them.
Thanks. some obstacles: trying to keep up in school, a chinese girl is not fitting in american culture
I can relate to his experiences, when everything has collapsed my academics, family relationships, and friendships have been challenged. Due to starting late when I arrived in American, I tried to keep up with my Amerian classmate. I become close to my unfamiliar dad. As a chinese girl, I tried to fit in American Culture.
You answered the prompt adequately, but you run a bit of a risk using Mr. Caulfield as your topic. You do an adequate job, but I've seen several other essays using the same character and read on several sites to avoid Holden; he's been done to death. If you're set on that topic you may consider getting rid of the first part of your essay. Anyone reading your essay will be familiar with the book and will have read plenty of essays like yours, so there's no need to summarize the events of the book. Also try and be a little more specific about examples from your own life.
If you have the time you may want to consider really reworking your essay and even changing the topic. Their are going to be plenty of essays out there no different than yours; I don't think you're really helping yourself standout with this one.
Sorry to be so blunt, but simply telling you your essay is done well, while true, isn't helping your cause much.
