Prompt: Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.
The plane started to take-off. Almost naturally, my eyes turned to the window. I felt my lips forming a smile as the acknowledgement of the world below dwindling away every second brought sheer pleasure. With a futile effort, I searched for the red roofed, brick apartment, where I finished my breakfast, kissed my auntie, and said "Good bye." The sweet vacation was over; once again, I was leaving Korea.
As the plane shot through the path of white cottons, scenery of numerous islands spread before me. I saw the Philippines, my destination. Though it was quite far to see well, I was very familiar with the view outside the window. For a few seconds, I confused myself by thinking that I was returning to my home. 'Wait, I just left my home. What am I thinking?' Having this kind of feeling was not something new. In fact, I knew too well about this foreign country. I could already hear the jeepney roaring and exhaling thick waves of smoke; I could smell the Sampaguita, a flower which little children stringed into a crown and sold outside churches; I could see the palenke, a crowded marketplace where men and women displayed all sorts of goods, including sampalok, my favorite Filipino snack.
Everyone in the plane fell asleep while I kept myself busy with observation. I felt very nostalgic. Yet, I lamented the fact that it will be my last year in the Philippines, my second home. I gave my parents a look of bitterness which seemed to say that "I won't leave any more. I want to stay."
I guess the stare was no use. Now I am in my third home, America. However, I never regret the fact that I left either Korea or Philippines. After many years, I learned that my life is like a plane, which is set to travel. There is still long journey left like the changing views that I saw through the window.
this is actually 327 words..
anyway i need to send this today
so i need your advice and comments please ;]
thanks!
The plane started to take-off. Almost naturally, my eyes turned to the window. I felt my lips forming a smile as the acknowledgment of the world below dwindling away every second brought sheer pleasure. With a futile effort, I searched for the red- roofed no comma brick apartment, where I finished my breakfast, kissed my auntie no comma and said "Good bye." The sweet vacation was over; once again, I was leaving Korea.
As the plane shot through the path of white cottons, scenery of numerous islands spread before me. I saw the Philippines, my destination. Though it was quite far to see well, I was very familiar with the view outside the window. For a few seconds, I confused myself by thinking that I was returning to my home. 'Wait, I just left my home. What am I thinking?' Having this kind of feeling was not something new. In fact, I knew too well about this foreign country. I could already hear the jeepney roaring and exhaling thick waves of smoke; I could smell the Sampaguita, a flower which little children stringed into a crown and sold outside churches; I could see the palenke, a crowded marketplace where men and women displayed all sorts of goods, including sampalok, my favorite Filipino snack.
Everyone in the plane fell asleep while I kept myself busy with observation. I felt very nostalgic. Yet, I lamented the fact that it will be my last year in the Philippines, my second home. I gave my parents a look of bitternessbitter lookthat seemed to say that "I won't leave any more. I want to stay."
I guess the stare was no usenot effective? Use more powerful diction here . Now I am in my third home, America. However, I never regret the fact that I left either Korea orand Philippines. After many years, I learned that my life is like a plane (no comma)that is set to travel. There is still long journey ahead like the changing views that I saw through the window.
Great job with the descriptive language. There were some minor errors. But in general great work! Can you read mine?
The plane started to [take off] . Almost naturally, my eyes turned to the window. I felt my lips forming a smile as the acknowledgement of the world below dwindling away every second brought sheer pleasure. I [futilely] searched for the red roofed, brick apartment, where I [had] finished my breakfast, kissed my auntie, and said "Good bye." The sweet vacation was over; once again, I was leaving Korea.
As the plane shot through the path of white [cotton] , scenery of numerous islands spread before me. I saw the Philippines, my destination. Though it was quite far to see well, I was very familiar with the view outside the window. For a few seconds, I confused myself by thinking that I was returning to my home. 'Wait, I just left my home. What am I thinking?' Having this kind of feeling was not something new. In fact, I knew this foreign country [all too well]. I could already hear the jeepney roaring and exhaling thick waves of smoke; I could smell the Sampaguita, a flower which little children stringed into a crown and sold outside churches; I could see the palenke, a crowded marketplace where men and women displayed all sorts of goods, including sampalok, my favorite Filipino snack.
Everyone [else] in the plane fell asleep while I kept myself busy with observation. [There was a nostalgic feeling]. Yet[no comma] I lamented the fact that [this would] be my last year in the Philippines, my second home. I gave my parents a look ["bitterness" doesn't sound right here] which seemed to say[:] "I won't leave any more. I want to stay."
I guess [that look] was no use. Now I am in my third home, America. However, I never regret [leaving] either Korea or Philippines. After many years, I learned that [I am] like a plane, which is set to travel. There is still long journey left like the changing views that I saw through the window <<this sentence doesn't make sense .
_______
Some of the sentences are awkward but I don't want to make any drastic changes.
You got your point across.
Hope that helped.
thank you christine9944 and asdf!!
i appreciate it ;]
