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'What is home' - Bowdoin - Connection to place


ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 96  
Jan 1, 2012   #1
My essay is due tonight, please help me edit anything extraneous. And please tell me what you feel about the essay. Be harsh if needed. Thanks a lot for your help!

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience. Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following:

1. Intellectual engagement
2. The Common Good
3. Connection to place

Word Limit: 250 words

We were like nomads, moving place to place - making each new city our home. This was how my family lived for most part of my childhood. Thus, I could not call a certain place "home" for long enough. Even though we moved often, I still had enough time to gather many memories without having to feel uprooted or fragmented.

So what is home?
For me, it is in the smell of my mother's dals and curries; in her embarrassing yet endearing jokes and the warmth of her comforting hug. It is my intellectual discussions with Dad; and in the silence and sternness of his disciplinarian nature. Home is my fights with my brother over toys in the McDonald's Happy Meal. It is our bonding over the wannabe attempts to be the next gourmet critique by ravaging the city's restaurants and fast food joints. Home is where I made new friends. Delhi or Mumbai or Pune, it made no difference. Home does not have to be something tangible or concrete; 'Home' to me is the amorphous bundle of memories I hold. They are what made me who I am today. They are the strong connection I have to the people I love and the places I lived in. And yet again, as I move ahead in life and strive to move away for college, I will add to my collection innumerable and invaluable memories. And no other place seems as right as Bowdoin for this.

This is about 244 words. Does it work well to address the prompt? Thanks again! :)
lifeisgoing1 3 / 7  
Jan 1, 2012   #2
I think you've answered the prompt well.
If you could help me out with my thread that would be great.
Good luck :)
glj 2 / 4  
Jan 1, 2012   #3
I really like it and it works well with the prompt! There are a few things you could change but they are very minor:

"moving place to place[,] making each new city our home."
"This was how my family lived for most part of my childhood" - take out part
"Thus, I could not call a certain place "home" for long enough" - take out enough
"Even though we moved often" - change often to frequently
"For me, it is in the smell of my mother's dals and curries[,] in her embarrassing yet endearing jokes[, in] the warmth of her comforting hug"

"It is [in] my intellectual discussions with [my] Dad;" - also take out the semi colon
"It is our bonding over the wannabe attempts" - change the to our
"Delhi or Mumbai or Pune[:] it made no difference."
"And no other place seems as right [for this] as Bowdoin."

Good luck! I hope this helped!


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