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"Where Is Home?" Common Application Essay


onymaster 1 / -  
Dec 12, 2011   #1
This is the final draft of my common application essay. I don't plan to make any changes because I will be sending it either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, but please tell me what you think! I welcome all feedback. The topic is "Describe a signigicant experience that was meaningful to you, and how it helped you to grow."

It's difficult to leave the place you call home once, but to be hauled out a second time, well, that's a real emotional bruiser. I moved from Korea to the United States when I was 6 years old. I attended ESL classes and learned to love a culture completely different from my own. What I did not know, however, was that I would go through the exact same process in reverse soon thereafter.

I returned to Korea from the U.S. my freshmen year of high school, and because I had developed a second personality in the U.S., the move came with quite a few transitional bumps. Everything that might have seemed perfectly natural during my pre-American years, now seemed bizarre. I had to relearn everything, as though I were a newcomer to a foreign country all over again. Often, people would speak to me, but I wouldn't understand them, not because I didn't speak Korean, but because I had lost my regional and cultural context. People often say you haven't really assimilated into a culture until you can laugh at its humor; my friends were joking, but I wasn't laughing. Both inside and out, I felt tremendously alienated. I missed America; I didn't feel Korean enough; I had lost my sense of self.

Luckily, however, I was given a chance to discover myself once again in this 'foreign' country. I was forced to live in a school dormitory among Koreans my age. With them, I "re-Koreanized." We used to play a game called "Manito," which is a little bit like a Korean- style Secret Santa. Everyone would pick a random name, and each person had to be exceptionally nice to the person he or she had chosen for the week (without that person knowing). I really got into the game; it was fun and engaging. Through this experience I was able to meet some of my best friends. With them, I started to become more comfortable in my Korean skin. We spoke mostly about Korean movies, music, games, and celebrities. I had gone from feeling entirely alienated to completely at home. I knew this was true because, now, when my friends joked, I laughed too.

In the process of becoming "Korean" again, I have not forsaken my American identity. These identities co-exist within me. But now, I have allowed them to develop proportionately, neglecting neither one nor the other. As a result, I have a broader view of things since I can step outside of perspectives and weigh decisions from different points of view. These experiences have proven to me how important it is to jump into an entirely alien environment headfirst and absorb all that it has to offer, even at the risk of feeling like an outsider!
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 12, 2011   #2
I think your essay is very well done. This paper says a lot about you, and your personality really shows through. I like the little mini stories, like the korean secret santa game. This paper shows you to be a responsible, adaptable, and well-rounded person with a good head on your shoulders. I think your paper is easy to read without being too simple. Nicely done. Remove the exclamation point at the end of your paper. I wish you luck in school.
drw1019 2 / 6  
Dec 20, 2011   #4
Yeah, this is a great essay, man. Be proud.
qq8928999 2 / 7  
Dec 21, 2011   #5
Special experience is more than anything.


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