UC Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
It was now or never. I have to do this now or I might never have this chance again. The day had finally come, the day where my parents trusted me home alone. I knew what I was going to do. Growing up, I would naturally ask many questions. I was curious about everything. If I didn't know what something was or did, I would ask. This drove me to have this weird fascination with the vacuum. My mom had taught me that whenever I spilled anything, the vacuum could clean it up. Once she even vacuumed up a spider with it. The vacuum's power to make even a living spider disappear blew my mind. This unstoppable power, I had to possess it. The only problem was that she would never let me use it. But today was the day. I dashed for the closet that held the vacuum. Open it up, and pulled the vacuum out. I wasn't about to waste any time.
My mom is going to kill me. What do I do? Curiosity had killed the cat. I'm dead. I had tried to vacuum up a whole piece of paper and it got jammed. I know! I will lie my way out of it. That was my original plan. When my mom found out, lying was the last thing I could do. I failed miserably at even trying to. My mom could easily tell I did it by my quiet tone and half spoken words, and she got the truth right out of me. She told me that I would not be punished for vacuuming paper, but would instead be punished for trying to lie about it. Today, I wonder if that was the truth or if she just wanted to teach me a lesson. Either way it worked. Since my horrible attempt to lie to my mom, things have been different between us. I have traded in my lies and in return, I have been given her trust. It was worth it. My mom knew exactly how to teach me a valuable lesson. And I took this valuable lesson to heart. Once I got caught by a cop watching the stars with a friend on top of the roof of a building. I was honest with the cop, and he could tell. He still had to call my parents to pick me up though. Even when my parents got a call from the cops to pick me up, they were not mad, because I had told them before then that it was a nice place just to relax and talk. Honesty went a long way for me; saved me more than lying ever could.
Wow, this is awesome, at first you gave an impression that would lower the standard of essays, like, it made me think that your essay sucked.But at the end, you raised the bar so high that it would totally blew the mind of the reader, this is what people should learn about writing essay, sometimes you just got to lower the expectation and go out with a bang to impress people. That was a good read thanks. Personally I could not find any grammatical error, since I am by no means an expert at it, but I think some other more grammatical junkies can seek out something. but that was a very good read!
but one thing i did noticed in the first paragraph was that u stopped too much, if i were to compare your sentence structure to other essays, i would say that your's is like a slide show, and the other ones are like slow motion pictures. It's still very good, it captured the innocent child theme that u might have tried to get at the beginning with the vacuum.
