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The "Hop on the bike" Method - What is a leader? (Purdue Supplement)


fixedub 1 / -  
Sep 19, 2010   #1
I know it's long but I made it as interesting as possible! Any feedback on grammar/usage, coherence, general structure, etc is welcome and appreciated!! Thanks :)

Prompt: What are the qualities of a good leader? Use personal examples to illustrate your own particular leadership style.

The "Hop on the bike" Method

Recently, I purchased a fixed-gear bicycle primarily as a means of traveling to and from school every day. A fixed-gear bicycle, unlike road and mountain bicycles, has just one gear that is fixed to the back wheel-in other words, the pedals move forward and backward in conjunction with the back wheel. Wanting to learn how to pedal backwards, I began my quest for knowledge on YouTube. But twenty videos later, I realized that backpedaling was not a skill that could be acquired by sitting on my laptop. I decided to strap on a helmet, hop on the bike, and just teach myself. Two hours later, I was backpedaling as smoothly as the bicycle riders I had seen on YouTube.

The trial-by-error learning process I employed in teaching myself to pedal backwards is the same method I have used throughout my high school career to become a more effective leader. Everyone can name examples of "good" leaders: Dr. Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, and Mahatma Gandhi. But, similar to the insufficient YouTube videos, the inspiration they evoke in me can only go so far. Therefore I have focused on gaining real-world experience as a leader as a means of becoming one.

My first experience in a leadership role was during the summer after my freshman year. I was asked by a close friend to be a volunteer soccer coach for Kick, Lead, and Dream (KLD), a youth soccer camp for underprivileged children that he had started. I was responsible for coaching and taking care of a team of fifteen middle school aged kids for two weeks. During these two weeks, I experimented with different strategies to maintain the team's cohesiveness. My initial strategy had been to use my charisma and sense of humor to win the kids over. While this tactic led to loads of laughs, it did not always lead to lots of love. The sociable children were having a blast but those that were quiet or shy were alienated. I made a strong effort to include these timid children by gaining their friendship on an individual basis. By the end of the camp all fifteen kids had become friends not only with me but with each other. And I had learned the first quality of a good leader: the ability to make everyone feel included.

My next experience signaled a growth in my own leadership traits. I had graduated from being asked to be a part of someone else's vision to creating my own. Following a solo trip to New Delhi, India during my sophomore year, I decided to start a club at **** ***** High School, the Namaste Club, to celebrate Indian culture. I had numerous obstacles to overcome that I was aware of even before the idea was conceived. Nevermind the fact that there are very few Indian students at my school and that **** **** High's ethnic clubs are notorious for having very few members; it was my junior year! Regardless, I was passionate about spreading awareness of India's festivals and traditions and proceeded with my vision. After five of my friends and I performed a spontaneous dance routine dressed head-to-toe in traditional Indian clothing during lunch for publicity, over 150 students signed up on our club roster. The following week, over fifty people arrived at our first meeting-setting a record for the most students at the first meeting for a new club at Mountain View High. I had unknowingly stumbled upon the second quality of a good leader: a willingness to take risks and stray from the path of normalcy.

The Namaste Club's success gave me an unstoppable confidence. I wanted to make a bigger difference in my community. I wanted to leave a legacy after I graduated **** **** High. I wanted to start a magazine. I envisioned a magazine that would serve both high schools in my district and cover school-related issues and culture-related topics in addition to a Student Submissions section. As each detail fell into place, I grew increasingly certain that my vision would be fulfilled. And four months later, it did. The countless calls to various printing companies and meetings with local grant-makers had paid off, for 1,000 copies of the first issue were released. The most difficult hurdle I had to cross was not finding a printing company or securing funding, but assembling a staff. Most students that I had approached to staff the magazine met my idea with varying degrees of skepticism. My solution was simple. I expressed my enthusiasm and passion for the magazine in a way that proved infectious. Eventually the questions changed from where will you get the money? to where do I sign up? The third quality became obvious: a good leader leads by example and exhibits the same attitude that they wish others to adopt.

I was recently elected the Editor-in-Chief of Oracle Online, the website for **** **** High Schools's school newspaper, the Oracle. Having been a loyal writer and page editor for the Oracle since my sophomore year, I was thrilled to be given the chance to create our school's very first online source for school news. But as an editor, I wanted to make changes. As a staff writer two years ago, a few of my editors had abused their authority over their writers. They would sometimes edit the writers' articles and publish the edited version without the writer's consent or give their writers unfair grades that did not reflect the work they put in to their writing. Upon being elected to my position this year, I vowed that I would retain a collaborative atmosphere with my writers and decided that I would not abuse my authority as my previous editors had. This small adjustment made a huge difference that was obvious during the first production cycle. The arguments and tension that was commonplace between editor and writer had disappeared because I had treated the students that wrote articles for me as peers, not as staff writers. I had learned the fourth most important quality in an effective leader: the ability to be down-to-earth even when given great authority.
lizzzard 2 / 3  
Sep 21, 2010   #2
"The trial-by-error learning process I employed in teaching myself to pedal backwards is the same method I have used.."
I feel like this may be a little too wordy, maybe try "The trial-by-error learning process I employed is the same method I have used.." to get rid of a few extra words.

Also, I really enjoy your second paragraph! It describes a different view of a leader than the stereotypical ones that all come to mind (and you even used those stereotypes to help compare)

I feel that it may be a little lengthy (colleges read THOUSANDS of college essays), but I do feel yours is strongly written and you also have good word choice!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 22, 2010   #3
The "Hop on the bike" Method

If you capitalize most of this, capitalize Bike, too.

But Twenty videos later, I realized...

The trial-by-error learning process I employed

Weird... this is the second time I heard someone say "trial by error." I always thought the expression was "trial and error" because you have repeated trials and repeated errors. Trial by error does not seem to make sense to me, because the error is not the source of the trial.

I feel that it may be a little lengthy

Yep, I agree. It is not bad for writing to be lengthy, but it is bad for writing to be more lengthy than necessary. That is a lot for the reader to carry. So, trim away the excess:

I wanted to leave a legacy after I graduated **** **** High. I wanted to start a magazine.---- you already mentioned the high school name, and in fact it was unnecessary the first time. Do this:

I wanted to leave a legacy after I graduated by starting a magazine.

Similarly, find other sentence that, although they may be good sentences, are not helpful for creating the experience you want to create for the reader.


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