Hi guys!
I am an international student, and I want to apply to RISD , industrial design program. Please give me some feedback on this! Any advice will be helpful. Grammar , content , anything !
Thank you so much !
TOPIC: How do you hope to have changed at the end of your time as a RISD student ?
WORDS: 200-400
At the end of my time as a RISD student, I hope that the various obstacles I must have gone through during the years shape me into a person more readily to deal with issues and challenges faced in the world. Now that I've been prepared from an international high school student to a college student, I hope that after this huge step, overwhelmed with creativity, new experiences, knowledge and challenges in RISD, it leads me to the reality of the world, from a college freshmen into a woman industrial designer, willing to use skills and creativity developed through this period of time, to solve, not only by myself, but also working together, collaborating to transform issues into innovative matters. I hope that my perspective of the world will expand, that my eyes will be opened to the bothersome and inconveniences of our day by day, and be able to diminish them. I hope that I will be willing to solve these problems using what I know and what I have in hand, to improve and to help the society and the environment. I hope that I will be changed into an even more mature, creative, open-minded, self-motivated and capable person, prompt to be helpful. At the end of this time, I hope that not only I will be changed, but that my changes will influence the world around me.
I hope that the knowledge I will receive in RISD can make lives more convenient and more pleasurable, while leading to a cleaner environment and less impacted nature. I hope that I can be even more passionate and dedicated to design, be able to create effective designs, functionally, visually, and environmentally, using smart and clean materials. These are still how I hope to have changed, but it will probably be "how I will be changed" once I have the chance to go through these years as a student in RISD.
320 words
At the end of my time as a RISD student, I hope that the various obstacles put in front of me during the years (I don't like "during the years") shape me into a person who can more readily deal with issues and challenges faced in the world. Now that I've transitioned from an international high school student to a college student, I hope that after this huge step, overwhelmed with creativity, new experiences, knowledge and challenges in RISD, it leads me to the reality of the world, from a college freshmen to a woman industrial designer, willing to use skills and creativity developed through this period of time, to solve, not only by myself, but also working together, collaborating to transform issues into innovative matters.This last sentence was a huge run-on I hope that my perspective of the world will expand, that my eyes will be opened to the bothersome inconveniences of our day by day, and be able to diminish them. I hope that I will be willing to solve these problems using what I know and what I have in hand, to improve and to help the society and the environment. I hope that I will be changed into a mature , creative, open-minded, self-motivated and capable person, prompt to be helpful. At the end of this time, I hope that not only I will be changedfor my benefit , but that my changes will influence the world around me.
I hope that the knowledge I will receive in RISD can make lives more convenient and more pleasurable, while leading to a cleaner environment and having less impact on nature. I hope that I can be even more passionate and dedicated to design, be able to create effective designs, functionally, visually, and environmentally, using smart and clean materials. This is how I hope to change from RISD, but it will be "how I will be changed" once I am given the chance to go be a student in RISD.
