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'I hope to self-design a major which would involve psychology, theatre and languages'


fwcross 1 / -  
Oct 5, 2014   #1
Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. . (250-650 words)

If I am accepted to the American University of Paris, I hope to self-design a major which would involve psychology, theatre and languages. In turn, I believe I have a lot to offer the community I will be joining there: my multiculturalism, multilingualism, and sensitivity to the experiences of people living overseas and making the transition to a new culture.

I have had an unusual life. By the time I was four, I was fluent in three languages; by the the age of nine, I had lived in seven countries and gone to eight schools. I was born in Paris at home in the fifth arrondissement to American parents. My mother left when I was five so I was raised by my father. My father loves to travel, and in my childhood, was working as a journalist, interested in social justice and conflict situations. We started to move every year: Haiti, France, Panama, Israel, Argentina, Ukraine, the US. I attended the maternelle (pre-school) and école primère (grade school) in France; in various lycées and international French schools in Panama, Haiti, Israel, and Ukraine. I was also homeschooled for a period of time, completing cours de distance (distance learning) while living in France.

It was not easy: new countries, new friends, new schools. My schoolwork suffered from moving around so much: every school taught things differently so I had to continually adapt.

My 9th year brought even more changes: my father became extremely ill--a scary, confusing time. We moved frequently as he sought out the best treatment; but he was extremely weak, and often absent for days on end, leaving me to depend on family friends, and visits from my older brother, Harley.

But that same year also brought good things: I became a professional actress. My two older brothers had worked as actors, so my father took me to see a manager; I began going out on auditions. Within two years, I was cast in a leading role in my first movie, Bee Season, with Richard Gere and Juliette Binoche. I was living in Argentina at the time, and moved to Oakland, California for filming. My first movie was wonderful; I loved every moment of it.

One reason it was so special was that I got close to a family friend, Bill Hart. I had known Bill since I was a baby but we really became close while shooting Bee Season. Bill Hart was one of the kindest, smartest, craziest most generous people I have ever met and was undoubtedly the person who has had the greatest influence on how I became who I am today. Bill had had a wonderful career: he'd been the Director of the Razor Gallery in New York City, the first gallery to recognize graffiti as an art form; later, as a theatre director, he collaborated with Joseph Chaikin and Joseph Papp, staged many of the original productions of Sam Shepard's plays, and worked for the New York Public Theatre, developing and directing Cuba and His Teddy Bear, with Robert Deniro, and Larry Kramer's ground breaking AID's play, The Normal Heart. Bill became my legal guardian on set, and my closest friend. We lived together, worked everyday and had fun together. He was the one person that I could be honest with. And he was my first mentor, with whom I discovered the role that an individual teacher can play in the life of a struggling student. He did not just help me on acting but gave me books to read. A lot of them were about movies. For all my birthday's, he always got me books. It started on my 10th birthday, he gave me a book which shows the 100 best movies. He also, gave me biographies of actors to read. It all started when I read an article about Ava Gardner in the New York Times. He gave me the autobiography of Marlon Brando and other books such as Speak. When we lived together, we watched movies every night. Most of the movies, he always tried to get a movie that had a girl of my age in it, so that I could relate to it more,, and observe her acting. Sometimes, I would choose the movies. When I was fourteen, I started writing scripts for fun and I would read it to him. He would listen to me and just be very supportive. I read him everything I would write. He always boosted my confidence. When I started eighth grade, he got sick of pancreatic cancer. The day I lost him broke my heart as he was the kindest, smartest, craziest most generous person I have ever met and was undoubtedly the person who has had the greatest influence on how I became the who I am today. I love and miss him. He made me stronger. I have overcome so many challenges and being sensitized to the diversity of other people's experiences because of the unusual nature of my life.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 5, 2014   #2
Flora, with 831 words, you are definitely over the word count. I see a problem with your essay though. At first glance, it seems that only the introduction answers the essay prompt. The rest of it, deviates from the prompt. So I am offering some comments and suggestions to help you align your essay with the prompt. Find my suggestions and comments below:

If I am accepted to the American University of Paris, I hope to self-design a major which would involve psychology, theatre and languages. In turn, I believe I have a lot to offer the community I will be joining there: my multiculturalism, multilingualism, and sensitivity to the experiences of people living overseas and making the transition to a new culture.

- Once I am accepted into the University of Paris, I will be able to self design a major involving psychology, theater, and languages. I believe that because of my unique interests and major, I will be a more than colorful and interesting addition to the student community.

Sadly, the above paragraph is the only part of your essay that gives a real reason for your wish to transfer to the American University of Paris. The rest of your essay is an emotional and informative personal statement. It does not address specific reasons that you wish to transfer to the university. Your interest in self-designing a major should be the focus of your essay. This should be the main reason that you want to transfer to the university. I hope that you can revise the essay and build it around the self-designed major topic. That will truly answer the essay prompt.


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