On 13 february 1996, a cuddly baby girl was born in adventist hospital penang. she was named suriaty, by his late father.well, that me!
I was brought up in a big loving family.There are 8 of us.My father , my lovely mother and my 5 annoying sisters. Our sibling's names all started with the letter S.My eldest sister is Sani, Suman, Sankar, Sonny, Sofah and myself Surie. My friends usually call me Su, so when they call me twice it becomes susu which means milk. ill just ignore when they call me that name because i dislike it very much.
On last Sunday, my family threw me a suprised birthday party .i got many presents and my favourite ones are justin bieber stuff.I am a huge fan of Justin Bieber.i talk, dream and think about him all the time. So, the presents that i got were his biography book and his latest Cd album from my sister. That was really kind of her. In his book there are full of his adoreable photos and its mainly about his lifestyle and how he ended up became a singer. So on that day, i spent my whole night reading the book.I read it twice for i'm not satisfied with only 1 reading. i love his songs so much especially the song titled "that should be me' and "down to earth". I listen to his song everyday on youtube until my mom asked me to stop listening to his song.
Move on to my lifestlye. I carry out a lifestyle as a normal teenager.I attend my school and indulge my self in many activities.I have passion in swimming so during my leisure time i usually go swimming in PISA but lately i am too busy to cope with all my activities. Last two years, i took up a swimming lesson but i have to stop due to my busy schudule.
In every lesson we have to do warmed upbefore we got into the swimming pool. Our coach made us to run around pisa for two time.It was really tiring and tortures but it has given me an enormous advantage in terms of health where i started to burn my colories and lost weight.Thanks to my coach .
Well,as we all know life is full of happiness and sadness. My miserable part of my life was when my father passed away. He passed away 14 years ago when i was only a little baby who just started to learn walking. He had a heart attact while his breaking his fast and he died immidately. It was a very sad moment and the hardest time in our life as my mother alone has to earn living for us. Fortunely we have our supportive relatives who have helped us a lot.
I was sent to my aunt for taking care for a few months until my mother was financially stabiles.This makes me admire her because of her detemination to bring us up on her own and faced all obstacles that came through .
20 years from now, i hope to be a specialist doctor.I have always been fasinated with this Turkish-American cardiothoracic surgeon named Dr. Oz. I took him as my idol because he is just so amazing. He is a person who has ocean wide knowledge about medicine. he knows everything perfectly like how our body systems functions, our health and the most interesting part is the way he explains to his audiences and that attracts me the most. He makes difficult thing become easier by just telling his audience what is the main reason of the disease ,what are the consequences and how does it effects our live in a very logical way..Example, he explained on how to lose weight. First, the key to long term weight loss is about 100 calories a day less food today than yesterday, over a long period of time because this 100 calories of food is so little but our biology can figure out that we are on diet. He did explained what is the best exercise for weight loss and the answer is by walking. This will build up your muscle and the fact he told us that muscle burns above 50 times more calories than fat does. As you begin to walk you are going to lose weight and you will look better and healthier .Dr. Oz is also a talk show host for his own show " the dr oz show. Its one of my favorite television program which focus on medical issues and personal health.
Eventually, I keep motivating myself by telling that I will be successful one day. I keep my dream alive. I understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. if you imagine it, you can achieve, if you can dream it, you can become it.
Some of the changes in the initial para, but I feel you need to be careful with capital and punctuation
=>...hospital Penang. she was named Suriaty, [by his late father]<=what is this, who is "his"? you mean "her"? so you mean "her father named her Suriaty?(captital name of a person or a place)
=>...There are eight of us .My... (spell out if it is below 10)
=>... ill (misspell? "I")just...
=>...justin bieber stuff (what is stuff? picture? hat? T-shirt with his picture? Don't use stuff, be specific. Also, capital his name) "So, the presents that i got were his biography book and his latest Cd album from my sister", even though, you're explaining "stuff" in the latter sentence but you're better substitue it with "stuff", then instead of "So, the presents that i got were his biography book and his latest Cd album from my sister" you can delete it or" my presents were what I had wanted"
=>There are full of Justin Bieber's adorable photos and how he ended up became a singer, as well as his lifestyle in the book
=>...twice; for I'm not satisfied with only 1 reading...
Hello MikeyLikey, do you know the rules for capitalization?
Capitalize names, and capitalize the first words of sentences.
She was named Suriaty, by his her late father. Well, that was me!
I was brought up in a big, loving family.
...so when they call me twice it becomes susu which means milk. ---Ha ha!! Very good. You made my day.
Look, you did not capitalize: ill just ignore...
I'll just...
Capitalize: Justin Bieber stuff.
I am a huge fan of Justin Bieber.----Oh, I see that you DO know how to capitalize names! :-)
I talk, dream and think about him all the time.---Ha ha, that is cute.
heart attact attack
... like how our body systems function, ...
Eventually, I keep motivating myself by telling myself that I will be successful one day.
Okay, if you really want to be successful, I have some homework for you to do. I can only tell you about how to write well in English, so this is my advice: Please spend 10 minutes every day reading articles on the Internet, and READ THEM ALOUD. Speak the words. Then, type at least 3 sentences.
If you do that every day, you will have a totally different life. Can you find time to read 10 minutes each day? You already have a great way of writing, but you have mistakes, so I need you to gain GOOD habits by reading. 10 minutes is not a long time! Read articles about health and medicine before breakfast every day.And you MUST speak them aloud slowly. And you MUST type at least 3 of the sentences while speaking them slowly.
:-)
EF SUSAN;thank you very much..
:)
