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I hopped on the plane for the first time in my life. Common application supplement


Hkmkessays 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2015   #1
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I was 12 when my parents told me about moving to the US. I didn't want to leave my little world behind.I asked my parents to reconsider, but of course they were pensive about our future. They knew life a lot better than a 12 year old diva.

I hopped on the plane for the first time in my life. I felt uncomfortable, anxious, and nervous. When I arrived, I suffered from culture shock. I was soon forced out of my childhood because my parents didn't speak English and I barely spoke English. My teachers welcomed me at school and helped me to enhance my English. I worked really hard on my English at home. Soon I was told that I didn't need to take any ESL classes because I placed really high on my English test. I was really overjoyed.

Unfortunately, I encountered my worst fear of losing my loved ones. I lost 8 of my loved ones in 2015. All of these deaths were unforeseen and left me emotionally damaged. I felt adrift, numb, and sad. I sensed my stomach drop and anticipated nothing was wrong, but later perceived that this was the new normal. I had difficulty handling so many deaths. I started dealing with anxiety and depression. This really affected my school as my grades dropped. My teachers and my peers helped me perceive that I have to be stronger. They assisted me as I got back on track. I realized that I really want to help others just as much my peers helped me.

This phase of my life has taught me so much. I learned that life is very short, I used to believe that people die when they get old and have accomplished their dreams. I now perceived that there is no set date of death, I can die anytime and anywhere. My loved ones were set to make their dreams come true such as leaving for college, buying a house, and starting a family, but sadly their dreams didn't come true. I have learned to accept death and now I am not arrogant like I used to be. Now, I make sure there that I: am kind to everyone, express my curiosity, spend time with my loved ones, laugh, and most importantly make my dreams come true.

A new student from India started school, and she didn't speak any English. I was asked if I wanted to help, and I took that opportunity with a smile because I was in her spot a few months ago. I showed the girl around school, introduced her to teachers, and helped her in translating. I helped her and soon she passed her English test. I was so happy for her accomplishment. I realized that I loved helping others so I started volunteering at our local library where English classes are held for adults. I translated for the Punjabi and Hindi students. I was offered the position of an assistant teacher. I got to help many individuals grow, and do great things in life. I learned to find happiness by making other people happier rather than spending money on materialistic items.

My family went through the hardship of not knowing English. Thanks to my amazing community for helping and encouraging me with everything. Without their help, I wouldn't be who I am today.Though I still deal with anxiety attacks, I won against my depression. I am a lot stronger now than I was before. My grades have improved and I plan on earning all A's at university. I want admissions officers to know this tidbit about me because this experience has really changed my positively. I have come to realize that helping others genuinely makes me happy. I plan on contributing my knowledge to fight against inequality in the world to benefit others.
smunozas23 2 / 5 1  
Dec 31, 2015   #2
I hopped on thea plane for the first time in my life. I felt uncomfortable, anxious, and nervous.(This sentence might not be necessary) When I arrived, I suffered from culture shock. I was soon forced out of my childhood because my parents didn't speak English and I barely spoke English.( If you could be more conspicuous, how did this force you out of your childhood? and if so elaborate on the repercussions.)

I worked really hard on my English at home.(I think it will help you if you write about HOW you worked hard, for example you could write that you would practice and study English into the night in order to be able to communicate with others. Something more compelling like that,)Soon I was told that I didn't need to take any ESL classes because I placed really high on my English test. I was really overjoyed. You could also talk about your performance and any rewards you might have received in your current or past English courses.

I realized that I really want to help others just as much my peers helped me.You could write about how you've helped that new student and your volunteer work here instead, since in the former sentence you wrote "I really want to help others" and therefore it would show how you did that.

This phase of my life has taught me so much .(Replace with something like Compassion, empathy, (other values and skills)...etc.) I learned that life is very short, I used to believe that people shoulddiedepart from this world when they get old and have accomplished their dreams. I now perceived that there is no set date of death,( you may want to omit this as it doesn't add much substance to your text) I can die pass on at anytime and anywhere without havingaccomplishedrealized my aspirations.My loved ones were set to make their dreams come true such as leaving for college, buying a house, and starting a family, but sadly their dreams didn't come true.(My loved ones had planned to go to college, buy a house, and live happily with their families, but alas they were removed from this world before they were able to. )

My family went through the hardship of not knowing English. Thanks to my amazing community for helping and encouraging me with everything. Without their help, I wouldn't be who I am today. (The lack of the ability to speak English was a hardship for me and my family but thanks to my hospitable community we overcame this and I am who I am today.)


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