Please help with suggestions on this college classification essay.
Shonna Hiatt
English 101
04/29/2009
The Hospital Soap Opera
As I learned that I would be doing a two week internship at one of the busiest emergency rooms in the State of Washington I was ecstatic. I had been waiting to get back into the medical field for so long that I could hardly wait to help people in need. I have always felt that I was a people person but what I would experience in the next two weeks was more than just patient care it was my own starring role in a Hospital Soap Opera.
I had been taught about Hand Washing, Pressure Ulcers, and Alzheimer's. I studied very hard to make sure I was prepared. I was very aware of the Nervous system, the Urinary System, and even the Respiratory System. Unfortunately, I left out one important part the Psychosocial System. In 1943 a psychologist by the name of Abraham Maslow created a theory that is known today as Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs. This theory speaks of the basic human needs, Physiological, (Food, Sleep, Water), Safety, (Employment, Health, and Property), Love and belonging, Esteem, and Self Actualization. This theory is taught to medical students today to educate on human behavior. Each individual will have a different need and most of all a different personality. Each day we come in contact with another human that is looking for respect, love, and friendship. Most of the patients that I would come in contact with were more than physically sick they were in need of mental attention as well.
There were so many patients that I will never forget but just a few more than others. This was the start of my journey in the Medical Field and I will always remember these rare individuals.
Alice: The elderly confused lady with a hip fracture. Considering that Alice thought I was her Granddaughter we would soon become great friends. Although Alice was on high doses of pain medication she did not hesitate to ask me for "Just one beer please". After refusing generous amounts of money from Alice I would still be one of Alice's favorites. After a routine visit from the Surgeon Alice was asked by the Charge Nurse, "Alice can I get you anything?", with one final attempt, Alice stated "Yes, a beer".. The nurse replied, " Oh Alice, your cute!" Alice replied, "You're a whore!"
The Infected: Like most hospitals, there are always nasty infections running ramped, such as Hepatitis C, Staff, and the worst is CDIF, (Clostridium Difficile). America's own personal brand of what the Spanish call, Montezuma's Revenge. This seemed to be the most popular contact precaution amongst my assigned patients. This left me with repeated gowns changes, glove changes, mask changes, and blisters from scrubbing my hands like a mad woman! I will never forget the day that I found my highly contagious CDIF patient roaming around in what the hospital calls "The Clean, (Sterile) Supply room". He was only looking for a glass of water.. If anything this experience has made me reconsider my life long nail biting habit!
The Prisoner: "You smell nice" he would often say. I pondered why the man with tattoos always seemed to have an unfriendly visitor in his room that would never speak. The patient was diabetic and always had his blankets up to his neck. I thought to myself "Must be the bad circulation?" This patient in room 233 was known by all the female interns as "The Pervert", as one of my classmates put it "It's like he has never seen a woman before", or maybe it's just been awhile? His visitor with the "Poker Face" was actually the prison guard on duty and his blankets were covering his shackles. Patient 233 was coming to the hospital to have a leg amputation and then back to the dungeon to continue his sentence for armed robbery.
The Trigger Happy Daughter: Being a nurse you can only dread this one type of patient, a nurse. Or in this case the daughter of a patient, who stood on call twenty four seven barking orders to all of the hospital staff. Retired, but still wearing her brightly embroidered Tweedy Bird Scrubs, this busy woman kept all of us "Rookies" running. Using her mother's call button as if she was playing a game of Double Jeopardy the retiree was very good at abusing the system. At one point I think she even pulled the Code Blue button on the wall behind her mother's bed bringing even the surgeons out of the Operating Room. The mother was scheduled to have a colonoscopy the following day...
The Peaceful: Edith who we called Edie was one of the unlucky patients and a victim of Cancer. Edie's breast cancer had spread through her entire body leaving no hope for any future after her 44 years of life. Once Edie's family learned of her outcome they all had agreed to not come around anymore, it was too hard to see there loved one dwindling away. Poor Edie, there was a tube coming out of every part of her body. Most days I would spend my lunch breaks in Edie's room reminding her of her two prize winning dogs that she adored. She was a woman of few words, it took too much energy to even speak. One day while sitting in what reminded my of a scientists lab, she looked up at me and said, "I think it's time to end all of this". Not knowing that I was just an intern I told her that I understood. On my final day working at the hospital I tried to spend most of my time with Edie. Edie was on her last leg, doing what the medical providers refer to as the "Death Rattle", or irregular breathing. Some would say that Edie's case was depressing but that last day was the most peaceful of all my experiences. Edie died that day.
When I was a child my grandmother would often remind me, "Treat others how you would like to be treated." For so long I felt that I was always searching for that missing piece in my life.. I used to wake up each day and think to myself, " Today is another day." After meeting Alice, The Infected, The Prisoner, Edie, and several others I am confident that I am in the right place. Now I can treat each day like it is my last, knowing how fragile life really is. I spend each day truly absorbing my children, my spouse, and my life. I appreciate the experience I was given to work with these people. This was a life long lesson that can never be replaced and I look forward to helping many others.
I think this will be a better start:
When I learned that...
Here is a way to fix this run-on sentence: I have always felt that I was a people person, but what I would experience in the next two weeks was more than just patient care; it was my own starring role in a Hospital Soap Opera. ----> actually, what does your being a people person havee to do with this statement?
This is such thoughtful essay! I think you do jump from one idea to the next in a way that is abrupt, though. Can you add to that first paragraph? The first paragraph supports all the others, because it sets the direction for the essay. You can write something in that first para that tells the reader that the essay will celebrate some of the people you met.
Also, stick with the soap opera theme: There were so many characters in this soap opera that I will never...
