tiff_007 4 / 7 Jan 31, 2013 #1Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).** Anyone mind giving me some feedback? I'm sending my application today (I know last minuet) but I'd like someone to review my short essay. Also, it's over 1000 characters (almost 1200), so it's be a big help if I got some feedback as to where to make cuts. I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!!"I can still hear the thud of my back hitting the ground. The sight of metal clad hooves hovering above me as my horses hoof struck the ground right near my head. The feeling of being completely useless as my horse dragged me for what seemed like time without end. My mind had yet to register what was happening, it wasn't until being surrounded by people that I realized how embarrassed I was. Humiliation dominated pain. Before being able to disappear and drown in my misery, a young volunteer approached me. "Just remember, you haven't really ridden until you've fallen off". I understood what he meant. Falling off your horse is a disgrace but it's also an achievement. In the horseback community falling means you've failed, however having the strength inside yourself to get back on the saddle even if you risk falling off again, is an achievement. Riders learn from the falls they've experienced rather than the pain they've felt. Falling teaches riders how to fix mistakes and persevere."
OP tiff_007 4 / 7 Jan 31, 2013 #2Also I want to know if it's an effective answer. If not, I'd like a few ideas to make it better. Does it actually show that it has changed me as a person? I haven't spelled it out but I mean reading between the lines.. What do you think?
