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The hospital is a place where I have always felt comfortable; The Flying of A Dream

CallMeDoctor 2 / 2  
Oct 14, 2013   #1
Possible titles:
The Flying of A Dream
Scrubbing In
Peace, Love and Scrubs

The hospital is a place where I have always felt comfortable. At the coming age of young adulthood, I began volunteering at my local hospital. Working there broadened my mind of the medical field, and introduced me to many different specialties of medicine. After being there for approximately one year, I had met and shadowed doctors of all specialties except surgery: the specialty that had appealed to me most. With my determination to see the walls of an operating room, I sought out people that could help me make that possible. Successfully, I began observing surgeries of different specialties. I watched cases in specialties of general, orthopedics, neurology, vascular and anesthesia. General stood out to me the most. I was allowed to shadow a general surgery resident to get a feel of what my future would hopefully be like. This resident became my mentor for a week. During this time span, he taught me how to identify the organs on CAT scans and what to look for when searching for abnormalities. At the end of the week, he had me examine a scan and explain what the abnormality of the abdomen was, and how to proceed. From the scan, I concluded the patient had acute appendicitis, or an inflamed appendix, and needed a laparoscopic appendectomy to remove the diseased organ. He questioned my choice to test my confidence. I reassured him by explaining how the contrast was apparent in the appendix, and appeared slightly enlarged compared to the size of a healthy appendix. The resident performed the surgery later that day with his attending.

Working in an operating room is surprisingly peaceful. It's not like Grey's Anatomy where the patient codes every five seconds. The doctor is relaxed and confident about the procedure they are doing. While in the OR, the doctor leading the procedure would ask me question or ask me to identify an organ. They treated me like a medical student, and respected me. Nurses taught me how to fill out patient charts, and what questions to ask when visiting the patient pre/post operation. At the end of the summer, all of my questions were answered. The operating room became a place that was familiar. The staff let me know I was one of them, just slightly younger, and in high school. My summer experience helped me transfigure my dreams into goals from all of the support I received from these inspirational people I look up to.

Please help me :) This is due November 1st.
sthakur 2 / 22 7  
Oct 14, 2013   #2
I want to be a doctor too and I volunteered at a hospital over the summer as well. The story is common but I like how you took a unique spin to it. It's pretty neat how you got to be involved in a surgery because they rarely even allowed us near critical patients. Well, overall, you sounded very intelligent in your essay through the use of complex vocabulary. However, your hook needs some work and needs to grab the attention of the reader.

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