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(Human Ecology + Arts and Science) - Cornell Essays


rpendyala 3 / 8  
Dec 25, 2011   #1
Do I sound too contrived? or are they boring? Any comments would be welcome! Thanks!

College of Human Ecology: (SUNY)
What do you value about the College of Human Ecology perspective and the majors that interest you, as you consider your academic goals and plans for the future?

The objectives and approach to education at the College of Human Ecology are distinctive, like me. My ultimate objective for myself is to become someone valuable and relevant to society, through my intelligence and insight. To do this, my education must give me an understanding of social issues on a number of different levels. It must also be something that can be applied effectively to issues of today. At the College of Human Ecology, majors are organized into social topics or themes that are relevant to society. Education is seen as more than what is written in textbooks. It is what helps shape students into adults who apply their interdisciplinary education to the current issues of society.

The College of Human Ecology has contemporary and flexible programs that are geared to develop students like me who want to understand things on a number of levels. As someone who loves science, I am immediately drawn to the Biology majors available. The Biology and Society and Human Biology, Health, and Society programs require students to use perspectives from both the biological sciences and the social sciences to examine current health issues. Currently, my interest lies in the field of medicine. I have a passion for helping and understanding others and an interest in studying a relevant topic like the human body. The programs available at this College are traditional in the respected and esteemed education that gives Cornell University its name. But, they also effectively prepare students to apply their education to modern society.

What I like about the biology programs at the College of Human Ecology is their integration of classes that delve into more than just the biological aspects of man. I do not want to go to college to study only science. In fact, I don't think I would be the person I am today without my humanities classes. From a young age, I have always been an outgoing person. I have loved people and have an interest in our biological workings as well as our natural behavior and thinking. I consistently seek to have a deeper understanding of the people around me and find that I am often successful in empathizing with others. However, I can say that a lot of my insights and understandings of people have come from the courses I take in school. Though math and science are my favorites, I also see a tremendous value in the English and history classes that I take. These humanities classes have taught me to study and analyze the progress and behaviors of mankind on a psychological level. I want to be someone who understands mankind on both a biological level and psychological level, someone with great perspective in their work. AT the College of Human Ecology, I know that my education can combine learning in a number of subjects and teach me to be a critical thinker, and leader, knowledgeable in a number of fields.

This one is repetitive, and needs to be shortened.

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

The purpose of the teen years, and even early adulthood is to define ourselves, discover our talents, and grab every opportunity to achieve. In high school, I have immersed myself and challenged myself in a variety of areas, in order to see my own strengths, my limits, and my interests. At the College of Arts and Sciences, there are students with a number of diverse interests and an overbearing passion to dive into all of them so that they can discover themselves, and discover who they want to be as adults. Trying new things and learning about a variety of things is important to me because I believe these are the experiences that will help me discover who I am. I believe this is the first step in helping me achieve my goal of becoming a relevant and contributable person to society. The flexible and all-encompassing curriculum available at the College of Arts and Sciences is what draws me towards to it; because that is exactly what I believe I need to help me better understand the person I am.

Both academically and personally, my interests and activities exhibit great diversity and progress. From a young age, I have shown great interest in several subjects and have challenged myself by taking AP classes in almost every subject. I am an avid reader and love delving myself into an interesting novel for hours at a time. For me, books are a way to put my creative thinking skills to use as I paint pictures in my mind as I read. True to my talkative nature, I love the chance to share my opinions in a deep and challenging discussion in my English classes. I value learning to articulate my thoughts and reading and hearing the thoughts of others as I grow up and form my opinions of people and the world around me.

When it comes to math classes, I love meticulously going through long derivative problems for pages and pages, simply because of the deliberation and persistence they require. My favorite however, is science. In science, critical thinking is the key part in figuring things out. It is one big puzzle that all adds up to a big picture. It requires me to read and study general concepts and materials and then apply them to situations to understand how things work. I think it a true test of the brain's flexibility as it requires both comprehension and application. My special interest in science has even prompted me to pursue doing research over the summer at a pharmaceutical company where I participated in the testing of several drugs, learned lab techniques, and even animal handling. The environment was completely alien to me, and it was a true test of application of my chemistry and biology knowledge and my ability to adapt and learn quickly. But, I persevered. I took time to look back on my old notebooks and ask questions. I eagerly volunteered myself to do everything and to watch everything. This experience gave me a true insider's look into the world of medical research and excited me as I saw that the concepts I learned in school truly were put into real life use.

As a student, I have been an active member in all of my classes by participating in group discussion and interestedly doing the work required for the class but also taking time to read and think more about topics that interest me. I have taken the initiative to further challenge myself and pursue my interests in English, math, and science by getting involved in essay competitions, math contests, and medical research. I have a deep interest in critical thinking and learning in a number of worldly fields. My ambitious and perseverant nature pushes me to challenge myself to work hard until I am proud of the effort I have put forth. At the Cornell University College of Arts and Sciences, I hope to continue being driven on this academically challenging and enriching path.
Balanchine 4 / 20  
Dec 25, 2011   #2
The objectives and approach to education at the College of Human Ecology are distinctive, like me. My ultimate objective for myself is to become someone valuable and relevant to society, through my intelligence and insight. To do this, my education must give me an understanding of social issues on a number of different levels.;i t must also be something that can be applied effectively to issues of todaycurrent issues . At the College of Human Ecology, majors are organized into social topics or themes that are relevant to society. Education is seen as more than what is written in textbooks. It is what helps shape students into adults who apply their interdisciplinary education to the current issues of society.<--I understand what you are trying to say here, but with great difficulty. Try and shorten your sentences into one collective closing sentence. I believe you could convey the same meaning, but in a much clearer and conciser way.

The College of Human Ecology has contemporary and flexible programs that are geared to develop students like me who want to understand things on a number of levels. As someone who loves science, I am immediately drawn to the Biology majors available. The Biology and Society and Human Biology, Health, and Society programs require students to use perspectives from both the biological sciences and the social sciences to examine current health issues. Currently, my interest lies in the field of medicine. I have a passion for helping and understanding others, and an interest in studying a relevant topic like the human body. The programs available at this College are traditional in the respected and esteemed education that gives Cornell University its name. But,However, they also effectively prepare students to apply their education to modern society.

What I like about the biology programs at the College of Human Ecology is their integration of classes that delve into more than just the biological aspects of man. I do not want to go to college to study only science. In fact, I don't think I would be the person I am today without my humanities classes. From a young age, I have always been an outgoing person. I have loved people and have an interest in our biological workings as well as our natural behavior and thinking. I consistently seek to have a deeper understanding of the people around me and find that I am often successful in empathizing with others. However, I can say that a lot of my insights and understandings of people have come from the courses I take in school. Though math and science are my favorites, I also see a tremendous value in the English and history classes that I take. These humanities classes have taught me to study and analyze the progress and behaviors of mankind on a psychological level. I want to be someone who understands mankind on both a biological level and psychological level, someone with great perspective in their work. At the College of Human Ecology, I know that my education can combine learning in a number of subjects and teach me to be a critical thinker, and leader, knowledgeable in a number of fields.

Overall, your essay is fine. However, you do have some awkward phrasing, so I'd suggest reading it aloud to pick out what you think sounds odd. You are a little repetitive (The College combines courses, the College does this, the College does that, etc.). However, the meaning is there. Good job!

The purpose of the teen years, and even early adulthood is to define ourselves, discover our talents, and grab every opportunity to achieve. In high school, I have immersed myself and challenged myself in a variety of areas, in order to see my own strengths, my limits, and my interests. At the College of Arts and Sciences, there are students with a number of diverse interests and an overbearing passion to dive into all of them so that they can discover themselves, and discover who they want to be as adults.This is very awkward. I would suggest breaking it up. I notice you have a tendency to repeat what is obvious; for instance, you write "...in order to see MY OWN strengths, MY limits, and MY interests". Because you are talking about YOURSELF, it is not necessary to include all those extra "mys". Trying new things and learning about a variety of things is important to me because I believe these are the experiences that will help me discover who I am. "Things" is a weak word choice. I believe this is the first step in helping me achieve my goal of becoming a relevant and contributable person to society. The flexible and all-encompassing curriculum available at the College of Arts and Sciences is what draws me towards to itattracts me ; because that is exactly what I believe I need to help me better understand the person I am.Semi-colons have two "sentences" on either side. For instance, "I bought some fruit at the supermarket; the apples were fifty cents per pound, and the pears were a dollar."

Both academically and personally, my interests and activities exhibit great diversity and progress. From a young age, I have shown great interest in several subjects and have challenged myself by taking AP classes in almost every subject. I am an avid reader and love delving myself into an interesting novel for hours at a time. For me, books are a way to put my creative thinking skills to use as I paint pictures in my mind as I read. True to my talkative nature, I love the chance to share my opinions in a deep and challenging discussions in my English classes. I value learning to articulate my thoughts and reading, and hearing the thoughts of others as I grow up and form my opinions of people and the world around me.

When it comes to math classes, I love meticulously going through long derivative problems for pages and pages, simply because of the deliberation and persistence they require.I'm not even sure this sentence is necessary. You could just start by launching into "my favourite subject is science". My favorite subject, however, is science. In science, critical thinking is the key part in figuring things out. It is one big puzzle that all adds up to a big picture. It requires me to read and study general concepts and materials and then apply them to situations to understand how things work. I think it a true test of the brain's flexibility as it requires both comprehension and application. My special interest in science has even prompted me to pursue doing research over the summer at a pharmaceutical company where I participated in the testing of several drugs, learned lab techniques, and even animal handling. The environment was completely alien to me, and it was a true test of application of my chemistry and biology knowledge and my ability to adapt and learn quickly. But, I persevered. I took time to look back on my old notebooks and ask questions. I eagerly volunteered myself to do everything and to watch everything. This experience gave me a true insider's look into the world of medical research and excited me as I saw that the concepts I learned in school truly were put into real life use.

As a student, I have been an active member in all of my classes by participating in group discussion and interestedly doing the work required for the class but also taking time to read and think more about topics that interest me. I have taken the initiative to further challenge myself and pursue my interests in English, math, and science by getting involved in essay competitions, math contests, and medical research. I have a deep interest in critical thinking and learning in a number of worldly fields. My ambitious and perseverant nature pushes me to challenge myself to work hard until I am proud of the effort I have put forth. At the Cornell University College of Arts and Sciences, I hope to continue being driven on this academically challenging and enriching path.

This second essay is very insightful. However, you do still struggle with awkward phrasing. I would suggest, again, combing through the essay and weeding out every little thing that seems off. In my opinion, grammar mistakes and phrasing errors are the biggest things that will set you back because they are so easy to fix. Universities want to see that you are well-rounded and capable of writing well. Essays are really the only thing that you can control as of now (unless you're still taking your standardized tests).

Check my character essay??

Good luck with your application to Cornell. I hope I wasn't being too hard on you!
OP rpendyala 3 / 8  
Dec 25, 2011   #3
WOW! Thanks a lot! This was great!


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