Humanitarian Club - Boston University's reason for applying

In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission

The flamboyant city lights, exceptional Broadway shows, mind blowing skyscrapers and huge diversity-- these are all of the aesthetics that I have endorsed growing up in New York City. Fourteen years spent living in an urban community has unfolded many opportunities for me that I want to retain while at college, but at the same time have the chance to explore new things. Even though staying in NYC seems like the more convenient choice for me, Boston University's collaborative community has proven to me that my four years being spent there would flourish just as greatly as it would living in the Big Apple.

First off, I was excited to find out about BU's involvement in sustainability. Boston's commitment to sprout environmental awareness throughout our global community reflects my time carrying out charity events at my school's Humanitarian Club. By participating in corresponding events such as the university's Outing Club, I look forward to exploring beyond just cars and tall buildings and actually be able to engage with the school's diverse student body through our interest in the outdoors. This idea of collaboration and exploration can also be applied into my disciplinary studies. As an acting major, BU's PTI creates an intimate learning experience that will essentially expand my knowledge within the profession. Its affiliation with theater companies across the nation serves as a great networking experience for an innovative person like myself. I am an individual who values innovation. BU is a school that promotes collaboration. With these two spectra, it was inevitable for me think otherwise when applying to Boston University.

*This is actually 263 words... please help me find areas where I can probably delete to satisfy the word limit! Any critiques will also help (please be harsh and critical). Oh and please comment on how you feel about the essay overall, i'm extremely worried that it sounds too cliche and verbose! thanks!

I think you do bring out your interest forcefully. Don't worry about that. About the word limit thing, here are my two cents:

these are all of the aesthetics - these are aesthetics

the more convenient choice for me - the more convenient choice

Boston University's collaborative community has proven to me that my four years being spent there would flourish just as greatly as it would living in the Big Apple. - do you mean to say you'll flourish at BU? if so, it doesn't come out very well in this sentence. Try editing it. Or you could say, Even though staying in NYC is the more convenient choice, Boston University's diverse community calls out to me.

You can say 'Boston celebrates collaboration' instead of 'promotes'.

With these two spectra, it was inevitable for me think otherwise when applying to Boston University. - I can feel what you are trying to put across, but the formation is definitely wrong. Please revise it and get back to me.

And please please critique my essays :)