"Humility is the best teacher" - University of Washington Personal Statement

I'm trying to apply for Fall 2023 and just wanted to start my essay as early as possible so that I have time to make it the best it can be. Lots of critiques is encouraged and much appreciated. Thanks everyone!

story from your life

Prompt:
Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

Essay:

What hubris to believe that I was above the world.

It was senior year. Everyone was stressing over college applications, but not me. I did not even have a specific college in mind. I just kicked up my legs and ignored it all. You see, I wholeheartedly believed that I was good enough to be able to get into any college with ease. After all, I had never failed at anything at that point in my life. I had good grades, passed all my exams without studying, and even got my crush to accept my confession. I genuinely believed that I was better than I really am. How wrong and arrogant I was.

Out of all the subjects, I liked Japanese the most. So I ended up deciding to study abroad in Japan. I applied for the MEXT scholarship given by the Consulate General of Japan in San Francisco. I remember walking into the building with my chin held high and a smirk on my smug face.

"This'll be easy as hell," I thought to myself.

I completely bombed the exam. I could not answer a single question on that exam. But the worst part was the interview. I was a nervous wreck, stumbled all over my words, and could not say what I wanted to say. Overall, I gave a terrible first impression. The final nail in the coffin was the rejection letter.

My world collapsed. I thought I knew everything there is to know about Japanese. For the first time in my life, I knew failure. I had been put in my place. It was painful, frustrating, humiliating, but most of all, it was eye-opening. I was taught humility, and it's a lesson that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I now realize how small and insufficient I really am. There is so much that I must learn and do not know.

Looking back, I would have strangled that cheeky brat. Humility has forced me to mature. Now I make sure to shut my mouth and listen when someone is talking. It is only when you do not speak, that you are forced to listen. Because I listened, I learned how to do tasks effectively and efficiently. I learned how to conduct myself appropriately. I learned how to be respectful of others and not inconvenience them. Most importantly, I learned how to put others before me. I now genuinely believe, and it may not even be by that much, that I am better than who I used to be.

While the description of your hubris at the start definitely made you a bit of a hateful person, you may want to reconsider that opening statement to reflect the reasons why you studies Japanese instead, since that is the focal point of the discussion. Work the other aspects of your personality into the Japanese discussion instead. Reading this essay from a reviewer's point of view, I can tell you that there needs to be a transition that clears the path for your sudden about face into the discussion of Japanese in the essay. As with any story, the presentation needs to be cohesive for it to make sense to the reader. You could do this by opening with an explanation of why Japanese is a part of your school's course curriculum. Fix that part only because, as far as I can tell, the rest of the essay, in relation to your experience, works just fine.