Here are my supplements for BU with why I am unsure of the essay in Italics, I would greatly appreciate any edits and suggestions.
Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.not sure if it seems general..
BU first fascinated me as I was researching colleges online. My criteria for the colleges I was considering included a campus in a city I was familiar with, a large volume of students with a good student to faculty ratio, and strong academic programs. Among the list of colleges I pulled up, BU was one of them. When I attended the visit BU had at my high-school's name back in October, the representative I met name, was very informative on answering the questions my fellow classmates and I had such as what the atmosphere of the classes were. Other steps included looking at the videos on the "you-at-bu" section of the university's website, as well as BU student perspectives on various student forums online like college confidential.
Essay #1: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.
not serious enough?
As an undergraduate at Boston University, the possibilities I hope to accomplish are vast. Aside from academics, there were several aspects of Boston University that appealed to me when I questioned myself on the things I would do if I was accepted. Among these were Broom-ball, the "West Campus", and Boston University's numerous clubs and activities. The idea of getting a team together for Broom-ball is exciting. To play an intramural sport during college is something I am aiming to do in the near future. The setup of Broom-ball is perfectly simple enough for me to assemble a team together and workout a schedule to practice. I can just imagine an early Saturday morning of sweat-intensive practice accompanied by laughter-induced-pain from falling over. Another aspect I hope to accomplish is trying the "West Campus". When I ask or hear about the food on campus, one of the first things I hear about is the "West Campus". There's just something about a grilled cheese with BBQ sauce and a burger patty that intrigues my taste buds. Then there are the clubs and activities. The Video Game Society, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Team, Rocket Team, and Quidditch Team are just a few clubs that interest me in joining because they seem to spice up college life on campus. In a more academic perspective, both Air Force ROTC (AFROTC) and a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering are other aspects of Boston University that I want to accomplish. I hope to improve my leadership skills, my teamwork skills, and my physical and mental state in AFROTC from the leadership labs and training exercises involved in the course. The fact that Boston University has ROTC programs allows me to express my desire to serve my country as an officer. The initial and primary reason for me to attend Boston University is to earn a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering after four years of study and work. A comprehension of the courses and connecting with my fellow classmates and faculty within the college of engineering department and throughout the rest of the campus is important to help me better understand my career goal. With the degree, I hope to work with Aerospace companies such as Boeing, Lockheed Martin, NASA, Northrop Grumman, etc. Boston University has so many opportunities available for students, sometimes I wonder if there is enough time to do everything within the short amount of time we have until we complete a degree.
Humor is always useful according to most websites. People who read these get bored, and humor can make you stand out.
the first essay seems a little vague; a lot of that could be true of many schools. Anything in particular that really caught your eye?
Your response to the first short essay seems to be a bit too general
Try mentioning more specifics about your interest in the school such as what about the "you-at-bu" video or the perspectives on student forums that caught your eye
On your second essay, just watch on the last sentence where you switch from the singular "I" to "we"
It may be your intention, but I think leaving it as "I" keeps your essay more personal
@mikeehnow Thanks alot, you make a great point, I'll keep it in mind when writing my essays
@jstorm I guess your right, perhaps I could mention the teaching atmosphere I saw when I went on a tour and sat in a class for awhile?
@jshah Awesome, thanks alot, you made some great suggestions, I wanted to seem a little funny by including broom-ball and the "West Campus" because I'm sure if mentioning them to an alumni makes them smile, it's a must to include on my "to-do list". =)
@ArcyQwerty Your right, thanks for the suggestion, I was worried about that.
Will be back with updated essays shortly.
Well, I just noticed that there is a character limit of 750 and my current short answer essay was 749, so I ask of you all, you suggested great ideas to add, but what seems unnecessary enough to delete to make room? Or perhaps there is no need to, and should be kept as is? The help is greatly appreciated.
Well, I personally think that you did a fantastic job on these essays. I say keep them as they are. :)
cool, thanks alot everyone, I really appreciate it.
