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Huzzah! + Piano - Standford Supplements


Silleth 3 / 10 3  
Dec 25, 2012   #1
Please tell me what you think and feel free to point out my errors. Harsh criticisms are welcomed :)
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate-and us-know you better.

"Huzzah!" If I randomly shout things out, don't mind me. That's just me being my usual random self. After all, it's not like I care if people laugh, I'll just laugh along with them.

Roomie, I hope you don't mind how quirky I am. I admit, I can be a bit eccentric and random at times but I assure you, this is completely normal. Just a fair warning though, I'm a bit accident-prone and clumsy. That, however, will not stop my adventurous and spontaneous heart. While I may seem shy at first, I am actually quite energetic. My artistic side will show up from time to time through music or art. If I slam on my keyboard or crumble a drawing, I'm just a bit aggravated by the challenge.

You may find me a friend, listening to your troubles and comforting you with laughs and giggles. Sometimes I will walk away mad but I will always come back to compensate my mistake.

I am An, the unusual little Vietnamese girl that aims to turn that frown up-side down no matter what the circumstance. I am the type who finds simple pleasures in life, the type who does not care about what other may think, and the type who can laughs at herself every once in a while.

As an atheist, I say respect my choice in belief and I will respect yours. No matter who you may be, what your background is, or even what sexual orientation you may have, we shall walk through this forest together and step a step closer in revolutionizing the world.

What matters to you, and why?
My parents decided that I should play piano in fifth grade. I really did not want to but before I knew it, I was trapped by guilt. They bought me a keyboard and found a suitable teacher. Lucky for me, learning came easy. By simply mimicking my teacher, I could breeze through with perfection. As my fingers waltz along the ivory keys, I can feel my mind swaying the melody, allowing me to escape reality. Just for a moment, I can shape the world to my predilection. It became one of my outlets, my way of telling the world how I felt and I adored every minute of it.

I discovered the trumpet in eighth grade. It was challenging and unlike the piano, I could not mimic my way out. I longed to be free with every ticking second. Band, however, was a required course so I did not have a choice. I clumsily began to reggae with the trumpet, merging it with other instruments to create a lively atmosphere. Before I knew it, I was charmed with its rhythmic harmony. It's funny how this dreaded course ended up being my favorite.

In tenth grade, I decided to learn the guitar for my International Baccalaureate personal project. Playing the guitar was effortless to me like the piano but oh how those bar chords mocked me. Unfortunately, with no guitar teacher I had to motivate myself, a feat that I failed, so I quit the guitar. I told myself that I would pick it up again; after all, I had a year before my project was due. A year blew by faster than lighting and with every passing day I told myself the same lie. I was ill prepared a month before it was due. Even though, I was talented, talent still requires practice and I still chords to learn. I was able to pass my personal project but I was embarrassed because I didn't do my best.

Music bound me; it defines who I am and has allowed me to express myself in a way that makes words pale in comparison. I'm appreciative that my parents and teachers saw the talent in me and challenged me to develop my passion for music.
karizma101 4 / 16 5  
Dec 25, 2012   #2
LOVED the first essay! it sounded just like you and not forced. I can tell that you have very energetic and appreciative personality and those are very good qualities that colleges will be looking for. I wouldn't change anything. It's perfect!

The second is also very very well written but I feel like, at times, it seems too cliche. But there were parts that were very unique to you so maybe it's balanced. I would suggest a stronger ending. Maybe switch the last two sentences?

Good luck!!
OP Silleth 3 / 10 3  
Dec 25, 2012   #3
Yeah that last prompt just fried my brain out. I didn't know what else to write because everything important to me is either too cheesy or really hard to describe in words.

Thank you for your feed back!
iGasph 1 / 1 1  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
Your essays are really good though you could use more works on the second one.
Also, you need to work on your ending a bit.
OP Silleth 3 / 10 3  
Dec 25, 2012   #5
Thank you for your feedback. Can anyone please give me suggestions on how to improve the second essay?


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