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UC prompt #1 - You Hyundai for Making Our School Better

polk540 5 / 16  
Nov 27, 2011   #1
Please help me improving this drafty essay!@!! We got not much time left!!!

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I was proud to witness a miracle at Alabama: at field trip to Hyundai Motor Manufacturing Alabama at Montgomery, we saw signs from schools to houses, saying "Thank You Hyundai for Making Our School Better," and "Thank You Jesus for Bringing KIA to Our Town!" in the way of trip, I was thrilled to explain to American friends how the factory works and how this benefits local economy.

I am from Korean community of Eastern Alabama, where admixture of Korean origin at American influence intertwines to seek opportunities to improve relation between Korean and American.

When I stepped down in the deep southern state of Alabama, a new chapter of automobile business unfolded, and I have been writing the rest story with my improving local relation between American and Korean. Here in Eastern Alabama, automobile industry is growing miraculously, which is led by Korean companies. I am part of a growing Korean community that is creating a vibe to regional economy and cultural diversity to the society. I learned work ethic from my work experience at Daewon America, auto-parts company for automobile companies of Southeast; it helped me envisioning how Korean community is assembled through this business and why I should improve relationship between Korean and American. As a quality manager, I am proud to hear that Korean automobile companies in America have better units per hour (measure of industrial production) than any other companies in the world. Not only I but also Americans learn work ethic from those businesses. From news in Korea, I hear how the business has boosted Eastern Alabamian economy and how Americans learn work ethic.

From my community, I learn that education is not just for career but is for giving back to community. As American churches donated land to build Auburn-Opelika Korean Church, Korean community gives back invaluable humanitarian works and educational aids to American; many local professors from Korea organize educational programs to help Americans in Alabama; Korean automobile businesses in Alabama offer American teachers an educational trip to Korea, with intention to help them understanding Korean culture. Likewise, I volunteered to display my artworks at Korean Affair in Auburn University; I helped tutoring American students to improve mathematic skills. While cultural center for improving Korean-American relation is now being built, I enthusiastically am seeking to volunteer at there.

From these experiences, my community shapes me to dream of improving relation between people, interest groups, and nations, based on advantages of diversity. As long as I could rely on my origin, I could continue aspiring improving local relations at California, where diversity has already set, yet cultural understanding is lacking.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot!
RRo - / 1  
Nov 28, 2011   #2
Overall, I think this is very good. It shows that you can make an analytical connection by describing how one community can affect another community, specifically relating to economy and culture. I think you can develop even more in the conclusion on how this experience has shaped who you are and why it has been important to you.

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