Hi, I'm Ibrahim! I thought I'd let you know a few things about me before spending my first year in Stanford with you. The concept of living in the same room with another person is not unusual to me. I have been sharing a room with my sister all my life until I moved to Philadelphia, where I shared an apartment with my friend. I am pretty systematic when it comes to tidiness, so you will rarely find my things laying around on the floor. However, having roomed with a very messy friend, I'm completely tolerant if you're laidback in that sense. I hope you like video games, because I love them. I enjoy single-player RPG games, but multi-player fighting games like Tekken are my favorites. If you don't like video games, it's okay because I also like card games. My favorite is Baloot; a Saudi card game that depends on memory and prediction. I'll be glad to teach you how to play it. I love food and I take it a bit more seriously than I should. I cook, and -dare I say- am quite good at it. I usually cook Arabic food, so here's a heads up that our room might smell funky (in a good way) at times. The reason I love cooking so much is because the scents trigger many of my memories. I tend to associate memories with what I smell. For example, the smell of coconut reminds me of my sister; she had a coconut-scented lotion that she applied every day. While my I consider my family as the most important part of my life, my friends come in at a close second. I'm pretty social, so you'll find me hanging around with new friends or Skyping old ones often. I am crazy about adventures and I always like to try new things. Whether it's as simple as trying out a new restaurant, or as extreme as jumping off a plane. At the same time, though, I enjoy spending time alone reading or writing my thoughts down.
Despite how much I'll miss my family and friends, I can't wait to share a year full of adventures and memories to keep. See you later -or as we say in Saudi- ma'a al-salama!
I would love for you to proof-read my essay and criticism is always welcome! Deadline is tonight so please help!
Thanks!
Hey there mate!
Based on what I read you seem like a amiable and genuine person which makes you really likable but the problem I have is that it is too ..generic. College admissions have tons of supplements and essay to read, a good percentage which falls in that "generic category" You want to set yourself apart, be unique, weird (not necessarily) because i felt like when i was reading your essay, you were just going down the list of things that characterize you and just simply listed them.
-andy
may you please provide feedback over my cornell supplement, much help is appreciated n_n
I think it's great that you incorporated your own culture and sense of home to the prompt. This one's a bit tough because it really does get generic (as ayu0006 pointed out), but I believe some of the point was to get your own personality across.
the stanford essay is due jan 1st so thats not tomorrow first of all. not sure what time zone you are in, but it is due by 1159 on jan 1.
with regards to your essay, id advise you against using contractions because they are seen as informal writing (unless you are trying to be informal)
also check how laidback is spelled i think it should be laid-back or laid back but not pushed together like it is
best of luck to you!
