Here is my essay for application to FIT for Fall 2018, I am a british student applying to the Fashion design program.
What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?
Fashion has a profound impact on how an individual feel about themselves and is perceived by others. I love design and fashion as a whole because of the tremendous impact that it has and has always had throughout history.
In order to pursue my love for fashion design outside of school, I have taken many courses at the V&A over the last few years including fashion drawing, dressmaking and fabric design based courses. These have helped me to develop my technique and discover new methods of both making and illustrating. I often make and alter clothes for my friends in order to further refine and practise my techniques. On top of this I recently volunteered at the V&A 'fashion in motion' event showing Molly Goddard's designs. I worked backstage at the show and learnt about the inner workings of the industry and the work that goes into putting on a fashion show. This inspired me further to push myself to achieve my goals in order to one day see my designs on a catwalk.
Over the Summer this year I did an internship at the head office of Jigsaw. I learnt about many other aspects of the fashion industry such as merchandising and buying. This gave me a valuable insight into the other areas of fashion and helped me understand how the industry works.
My continued involvement in Guiding, both as a member of a senior section and a young leader for Rainbows, has taught me great team working and leadership skills. I have also completed my Baden Powell award as a guide which involved completing many different tasks which helped me to develop a range of skills. I am currently working towards my Queen's Guide award which is the highest achievement in guiding. I have also completed my LAMDA silver medal for monologue performance which has helped me developed my confidence and presentation skills.
I feel these skills that I have learnt make me perfect candidate for FIT as I am passionate about the major I am applying to and I know how to put the work in to get the most out of everything I can. Taking Latin extra-curricularly at GCSE has also aided in my time management as we only had one hour a week of lessons with the teacher and I achieved a high grade.
One of my passions in life has always been history and this has influenced my design work, in my current A level fashion project I am looking into Rococo from the 18th Century and for my GCSE I looked into clothing during WWII. The way that history has influenced fashion and fashion has influenced history is something that has always fascinated me and I have often looked into this when studying different periods in history This has influenced my style as a designer as I am often influenced by my personal research into historic dressmaking and the styles of the past.
For my A level Drama I took on the role of costume designer. I designed, sourced and made all of the costumes for my cast, reinterpreting Berkoff's adaptation of Kafka's 'Metamorphosis' in the context of a circus. I created a complete and cohesive concept assigning each of the characters a role in my circus and stylising them in a monochromatic way. This helped me to understand the process of creating a cohesive collection whilst still maintaining individuality in each piece as well as working under time restraints and a budget.
I am very interested in Haute Couture and formal wear. I love Ralph and Russo; particularly the beading detail in the AW18 collection. I want to create intricate and beautiful design such as this and continue to develop my skills in beading and embroidery. Another designer I love for similar reasons is Krikor Jabotian. I love the soft lines and gentle fabrics and the way these create a feeling of elegance and beauty.
Throughout my life I have had an interest in classic, beautiful design from the mid 20th Century, inspired particularly by Dior and Balenciaga. These designers inspire me as they made women feel beautiful and glamorous and revolutionised the fashion world. I recently attended the 'Balenciaga: Shaping Fashion' exhibition at the V&A and I was very inspired by his use of structure and intricate pleating and how complex the foundations of even the simplest garment can be. This inspired me to be more innovative in my designs. My recent AS level project on Robotics has also led me to be inspired by more modern and innovative designers such as Hussein Chalayan and CUTECIRCUIT and how they incorporate technology into their designs.
My ambition is to be a designer and see my designs not only on catwalks but on people all over the world. I want to make people feel good by wearing my clothes and appreciate the care with which they are created.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691
Emma, don't muddle the essay with references to Guiding, your language skills, and any other non-fashion related references. These are not going to help highlight the reasons why you are a perfect fit for FIT (pun intended). Rather, develop the story about how you worked as an intern at Jigsaw. That is, develop it in a manner that allows you to portray yourself as some sort of stand out in this internship program. Being an intern is one thing, being an extra ordinary intern, that is another story entirely. Simply being an intern at a fashion house will mean nothing if you did not catch the eye of some leading personality at the company or, if you did not accomplish anything of interest as an active intern. That is a section of the essay that should be longer and more intricate because the training you received there could help prove the reasons that you are a qualified candidate for FIT.
When you discuss your fashion design inspirations and icons, it would be best if you offer a paragraph each to each personality instead of simply saying "I love...". The phrase is too amateur and doesn't impress the reviewers. It would be better if you used the terms admire, inspired, inspirational, iconic, icon, and other similar words. Use these descriptive words in order to describe your admiration for these fashion powerhouse names. Make sure to fully explain each inspiration you derive from each person in stand alone paragraphs. At the end of each paragraph, you need to tie in your interest in their fashion ideas and presentations with the reason as to why you chose your particular major.
If you revise the essay in the manner described, you will have time and space to rethink the content of your essay in order to make it more relevant and connected to the prompt requirements. The essay will a have a razor sharp focus that will answer the 2 prompts in an impressive manner.
overall looks good, I am not an expert but I think you should avoid starting your sentences like "I have , I did, I feel or I learnt".
Thank you very much, I will redraft my essay based on your notes,
I mentioned guiding and Latin to show my work ethic and team working abilities so do you think I should not include these at all or just make that clearer e.g. link them more?
I will make sure to extend and improve my internship paragraph,