This is only first draft, without grammar correction, I know it has a lot of mistakes. I mean how's about ideas and impression in two drafts. I want to know which one is better or more suitable for topic "Turning point in life" So, I can put my effort on only one.
This is for Stanford exchange program. Please help me it's really important for me...
Also, how to write it smooth and beautiful. I'm not the english native, Please advice! Any ideas are very appreciated
1.
Have you ever think about someone, appear like a magic, make an unexpected turning point and change your life forever as a dream come true. You will be so lucky if have that chance. Unfortunately, I have to tell I'm lucky too. But it is because I never have that chance. My turning point was not suddenly appear. I proud to tell, it came from efforts, devotions and duration of time. My turning point is not a sharp peak graph of life but it is smooth beautiful curve that adjust my life turn into succeed every goal of life. That is my love of reading.
When I was young, my parents read for me every night. My home fulfilled of variety type of books. Beginning from enjoyed to listen bedtime story, I began to read for my own and I could read faster than other children. Books give me not only knowledge but also many useful skills such as can focus or concentrate with work for long time or survive my school and university life with good studying. Also, reading gives me endless imagination and happiness which no where else can have. Reading makes me have a lot of friends. Reading makes me know I'm never alone and I love to share my experience through reading with friends. We tell and listen, query and answer, and that make us closer. Reading teach me give me good attitude and good example. I never think my life without reading. It will be nightmare. Everything will finish slower and harder without reading. For me reading give me know who I really am, give me source of information and inspiration for my future. Reading makes me appreciate how much love from my parents. Reading is root to my mind and blossom in my soul and I never live without it forever. So, love of reading is the most important turning point in my life.
2.
I want to be a scientist, work in laboratory since I was young. But when it came true during my studying. I feel not comfort and lost my attention to it. But one day, professor asked all class why everybody has to come to studying. Why everybody has to lock ourselves up in the square room call laboratory. Doing correct but don't realize what are we doing. I suddenly understand all the reason of my unenergetic and unhappy. I never prepare myself for studying well enough so, I don't know what to do and what I gain in everday. Now I knew the key to lives that not only set goal but also really want to know! If I want to know, I will happy to learn or do anything. Give my heart in goal and I will get more than I hope.This is my important turning point because I believe turning point came when I realized who I am, what my mistake were in the past, and what I want to do in the future. And this give me all of that!
Thank you!!
Hi, I have corrected to some degree and given you ideas for sentence changes.The first paragraph is different than the rest about reading, so think about how you want to connect the two ideas. Good work!!
REVISED:
Have you ever thought about something appearing magically and changing your life forever like a dream come true? If you have have had that experience, you are lucky. My turning point did not suddenly appear. I am proud to say that it came from effort, devotion and the duration of time. My turning point (maybe find another word here) was not a sharp peak graph but a smooth beautiful curve that adjusted to my life as I (here you might want to say something like) responded to each new challenge and experience. That is my love of reading. (THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IDEA-decide what you want to write about).
When I was young, my parents read to me every night. My home was filled with a variety of books. My enjoyment of reading began with being read to by my parents. Eventually I began to read on my own and I could read faster than other children.
Books give me not only knowledge but also many useful skills such as helping me to focus and concentrate with work for long periods of time or surviving my school and university life with having good study skills. Also, reading gives me endless imagination and happiness which I can't have anywhere else. Reading makes makes me feel that I am never alone and I love to share my experience through reading with friends. We talk about the stories and listen to each other read, query and answer, and that make us closer. Reading teach me give me good attitude and good example (Not sure what you mean here).
I can't imagine my life without reading. It would be a nightmare. Everything would finish slower and harder without reading (interesting idea, but try to express yourself more clearly. How in life things can take so long and be so confusing. there is no definite conclusion, but in books there is a clear beginning middle and end. Great idea.)
Reading allows me to know who I really am. It gives me a source of information and inspiration for my future.
(Reading makes me appreciate how much love from my parents.)This is sweet, but doesn't add to overall message.
Reading is the root that allows my mind and soul to blossom. (Lovely ending)
(in my soul and I never live without it forever. So, love of reading is the most important turning point in my life.) I would take this out
Isabel, I'm so impressed with the way you revised; I was not sure of how to fix some of it, and I see that you had ideas that were better than mine. Twinkle, what do you think of those suggestions? Here is some "food for thought."
I wanted to be a scientist and work in laboratory since I was young. But when it came true during my studying, I feel no comfort and lost my attention to it. But one day, professor asked all class why everybody has to come here to study . He wanted to know why every body has to lock ourselves up in the square room called a laborator y. Doing correct but not realizing what we were doing, I suddenly understood all the reasons for my unhappiness and lack of energy . I never prepare myself for studying well enough, so I don't know what to do and what I gain in every day. N ow I knew the key to lives that not only set goals but also really want to achieve understanding ! If I want to know, I will happy to learn or do anything. Give my heart a goal and I will get more than I hope for .This is my important turning point because I believe a turning point came when I realized who I am, what my mistakes were in the past, and what I want to do in the future. And this give me all of that!-------> Twinkle, this is beautiful. Even though your English still needs some work you wrote about a subject that is absolutely brilliant. It is full of wisdom.
Thank you very much! Isabel..
I really want to write about I am being like this to day because I love reading. It turned me from simple one to have good attitudes for life, good in studying and many things, I got from it.
Can topic "Turning point in life" write about this or it is not clear enough. Does turning point have to mean bad to be good or can't to be can. Can I write simple to be good, is it not hit the point?
However, thanks for your revise, it help me a lot...
Also, Thank you very much EF Kelvin. Thanks for your encouragement too. I know I can't tell others make decision for me. But I'm afraid I don't understand topic clearly and missed objective of topic which is "Describe a turning point in your life. Why is it so important to you, and what would your life have become without that that turning point?"
Please answer me can I write about reading or not, this is my most difficult to understand point. I'm appreciate every other ideas too, Thanks!
The turning point is a day that changed your life. It is a day that made your life turn and go in a new direction. I think either essay can work for that, but you should use the words "turning point" in the essay to show that you are answering the prompt. You can describe a turning point on a day when you first began to really appreciate science.
You're very welcome! I think that writing about reading is fine. The most important thing is to talk about something you sincerely feel changed you, and if reading was that thing, then that is what you should write about. With the grammatical corrections and flow of sentences, I think your ideas (which are really the most important thing) were really nice! glad to be of help.
