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ideas or items in a particle accelerator - direction with Common App Essay


r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #1
I am so lost right now and I started a paragraph already. I guess I cannot organize my thoughts and maybe if someone read this they can help me find a direction?lol I wanted to talk about how society and various cultures, and I was going to talk about Tibetan-Chinese conflict and how they could not coexist, and then I was going to go into my personal story of how my school is the most diverse school in seattle and we all can coexist together OR how I am multicultural and my home has various cultures within it.

It is due in 6 hours. >.< I promised myself I wasn't going to wait till the last minute damnit! Any help is greatly appreciated!

Put two or three ideas or items in a particle accelerator thought experiment. Smash 'em up. What emerges? Let us glimpse the secrets of the universe newly revealed.

Society is often described as a group of people that are similar in geographical location, and share the same language, culture, beliefs, and interests. The usage of the term "society" is extremely broad and can refer to a family, school, city, state, or even a country. There are other ways that our global civilization uses the word-Eastern Society, Western Society, Judeo-Christian, etc. Despite the countless divisions of the term, societies tend to have multiple cultures within them with different customs and perspectives. There is usually one dominant culture in a society that often overlooks the minorities, and habitually causes conflict amongst cultures within a society. Many claim that it is impossible for multiple cultures to coexist in one society without their being conflicts between the groups. However, is this necessarily true? What happens if multiple cultures are thrown into a particle accelerator and bump into each other?

arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 2, 2009   #2
I think you are right on track!
thelindsay16 - / 6  
Jan 2, 2009   #3
Don't worry you will get this done. I always do things last minute and things always seem to work out.

What you have is pretty good; a bit confusing, but I understand where you are going. Just continue on to answer the question that you stated at the very end of the paragraph. Just talk about multiple cultures co-esxisting together and then go into your personal experience. You are on the right track.
paradox 6 / 17  
Jan 2, 2009   #4
This isn't common app lol its the chicago one

Well I'm applying to chicago as well, they do call it an Extended Essay, so perhaps you should write a bit more?

I think the theme is good, but you should answer the question as well and give a conclusion.
OP r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #5
Thanks everyone,

EDIT: Yes, this is only the introduction.. I'm kind of lost at the moment but I'm gonna try to finish it before 7 PM and then revise it. Hopefully. Any suggestions?!?
mihirmj 12 / 12  
Jan 2, 2009   #6
i think you need to make it longer it seems a little short and needs more material
i like the topic and the idea but you could prob go into a little bit more detail
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jan 4, 2009   #7
This is great! Now, after you introduce the concept of society, let the reader know that the next concept is "culture." Then proceed, in the following paragraphs, to discuss the relationship of culture to a society. That is an awesome choice of ideas to discuss.

Perhaps, while writing the essay, a third idea will emerge for you. Conclude with a paragraph about the three ideas, and a new truth that emerged as a result of smashing together these three ideas.


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