Ideas presented in the topic: Career goals and how to accomplish them

Can someone please help me both proof read and look at the ideas presented in this response. It is for a summer research program and I want to know if I accurately and completely answer the question. I know that the first paragraph is a little bit unnecessary but I feel that it helps me dive right into my goals as presenting them without any background would not feel as natural.

Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

What are your career goals? How do you plan to accomplish those goals? Please state if you are still exploring different careers why those careers are of interest to you? (600 words or less)

medicine and research instead of aviation

Ever since I was Seven years old I have dreamed of becoming an aviator, and flying planes all over the world. However, this dream has little by little been subsiding, almost to the point where I can barely picture myself doing such job. You may be asking yourself how can someone dream of being something for almost their entire life and later feel completely disconnected from pursuing a career in such field? What makes a childhood dream grow voiceless, and unable to keep the older version of that child interested in such career? As simple as it may seem, my answer is simply because of the wonders and boundless opportunities that a career in medicine and research offers. I began to realize that unlike a career in aviation, a career in medicine and research would allow me to live a life committed to learning new things every waking moment of my life. In exposing myself to small research opportunities in my school, I also began to notice that every day I was exposed to something unlike any other day. The small research experiences to which I would expose myself were little by little indulging me in a world of intellectuality and incredible wonders.

Having said this, my long-term goal is to obtain both my PhD and MD degrees with the dream of becoming a surgeon. However, I believe that it is too recent for me to commit to a field such as Neurosurgery or general surgery. This is something that I will allow to unfold with the passing of time as well as my exposure to different specialties. I also know that before embarking on this long and arduous journey I must first complete short term goals. For this reason, one of my short-term goals is to obtain my Bachelors of Science degree in Neuroscience. It is my hope to spend approximately five years completing this degree, as I have also taken on the responsibility of completing my premedical requirements. With the fifth and extra year as an undergraduate student, I plan to enroll in some graduate school courses. This will allow me to enter graduate school better prepared for the many challenges that may await ahead. Following the completion of my undergraduate degree I plan on pursuing my PhD, and spend the next six years conducting high caliber research related to Neuroscience. After this, I plan to take some time off to work and volunteer abroad in order to help individuals have better access to health care in third world countries. Finally, upon my return to the states, I hope to enroll in medical school and continue the life long process of learning the art of medicine.

The reason why Neuroscience sparks such great interest in me is because of the diversity in function that the brain possesses. The brain as well as all the nerves that innervate it have a mind of their own. For this reason, I would like to spend the rest of my life devoted to studying the mechanism behind the function and structure of the brain. Furthering my study in Neuroscience by dedicating a substantial amount of time conducting research related to this field will equip me with the necessary skills needed for a career in the medical field. Likewise, participating in Duke University's Summer Research Opportunity Program will enable me to gain insight into what life as a graduate student would feel like at an earlier time than normal. This will allow me to feel better prepared upon my entry to graduate school as I embark on a life long journey of knowledge.

Brayan, while you feel the need for the first paragraph, it is really unnecessary for you to include that information due to a number of reasons. It does not focus immediately on your current career goal. It is not necessary for you to introduce the background of your interest development because the focus of the prompt is directly on your current career goals. I know that you feel the need to be as detailed as possible in your essay. However, you were 7 year solf when you thought of joining the aviation field and right now, you are not even considering a career in that field anymore. Therefore, that information is irrelevant and inapplicable in terms of the discussion requirements for this essay. Your idea of being detailed in your presentation and what the reviewer will consider relevant, detailed information are two different things.

Reviewers, specially scholarship applicant reviewers, have only a limited amount of time with which to review the qualifications of the applicants. So getting to the point sooner rather than later will result in a better analysis of the detailed career goals that you have in relation to the required information. Don't dwell on the things you no longer have an interest in nor career based goals that you have not decided upon yet. The reviewer prefers to read applications from clients who are laser focused on their career goals. Remove the uncertain elements of your essay and just deliver the precise information required. That way the essay becomes short, informative, and allows for more analysis time of your presentation on the side of the reviewer.

Again, these are just suggestions on my part. If you do not wish to follow the advice because you want to keep the background information and unnecessary elements of your paper because you like reading it that way and you feel it works for you in this presentation format (even though it wastes the time of the reviewer who will probably not finish reading your essay due to time constraints) then go for it.

Hi Holt, Thanks for your feed back. Below I have pasted a revised version of my essay to the above response. Can you please tell me if this would be good. I don't know what else to remove from the essay given that everything seems to respond well to the question being asked. What exactly should I remove please feel free to edit my paper by adding and/or removing anything that you feel is unnecessary.

I have always thought that a career in medicine and research offers an individual the chance to live a life committed to learning new things every waking moment of that person's life. This is something that I have realized through my exposure to small research opportunities in my school. These small research experiences have little by little been indulging me in a world of intellectuality and incredible wonders.

Having said this, my career goals are to obtain both my PhD and MD degrees (...)