Illinois Institute of Technology essay (a positive contributor to the world)

Please answer the essay question, limiting your response to a paragraph or two. You can either use the space provided below or upload a document in response.

How do you think IIT will prepare you to be a positive contributor to the world? This is your opportunity to share your goals and how you see IIT helping you achieve them.

I am applying to Illinois Institute of Technology, because I am aware that it possesses a long history and a reputation for high-caliber, rigorous teaching and learning. What especially attracts me is that the research conducted at the college is geared towards improving the lives of people. I have also come to admire the program because of its well-rounded curriculum and its stellar facilities. Keeping this in mind, I am certain that Illinois Institute of Technology will prepare me exceptionally well and help me to become a strong person. IIT will prepare me to be a positive contributor to the world by the educational and socially experience I will learn from it. I believe I will learn a lot from my four years at IIT. From the skills and experiences that I will learn at IIT I will make a positive contribution. IIT will prepare to fight the challenges ahead of me in life. Therefore, I will be better prepared in the business world. I will make better moves that will help us all. Since IIT is located in Chicago I will get different of hands on opportunities such as internships and other educational resources. IIT is considered one of the prestigious university therefore, with IIT's intellectual professors I believe I will be a successful student. With the education I will receive from IIT I will use it in my professional career. With the education experiences I will learn from IIT I will be a productive student and I will use my skills to the fullest. With the education from IIT I will be able to take on any challenge. Another way IIT will prepare to be a positive contributor is with all the experiences I will learn from IIT will make me a better person. Not only will IIT teach me educational skills, but also social skills which will help me be a positive person overall. The four years at IIT will be a truly positive experience for me I will learn a lot from it, and it will teach me to be a better contributor. I appreciate the opportunity to be considered for your school. I look forward to your admission decision. Thank you for your time and attention.

The sentence that comes after this one should probably give an example to back up the claim that you are aware of the rigor that distinguishes the school. How do you know, and how is it different? Can you add a sentence between sentence one and sentence two?

well-rounded curriculum and its stellar facilities. ------ again, this is a sentence that should be followed by some evidence/elaboration.

Keeping this in mind, I am certain that Illinois Institute of Technology will prepare me exceptionally well and help me to become a strong person. Boring, unnecessary sentence.

IIT will prepare me to be a positive contributor to the world by the educational and socially... -----> good, but try to work in as many details and examples as you can so that you make a crisp, clear impression.

You write very well, very eloquently. Just use less filler (i.e. "prepare me to be a positive contributor") and more SUBSTANCE (i.e. I intend to achieve the following goals: ....)

:-)