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"illustration of a utopia with diversity" - how you first became interested in BU


lanes 5 / 33  
Nov 19, 2010   #1
I know my answer is kind of long. BUT ANY CRITICISM, OR HELP AT ALL WOULD BE GREAT! THANKS!

In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.

Working at my summer job, I met a co-worker who was a senior at BU, intrigued about the school I asked him how he liked it, on the bus. For the next five minutes he illustrated a university utopia with diversity disseminated from the people to the professors. Later that day, I looked into the schools website, since then I spent countless hours watching as many videos, reading tons of excerpts and clicking as many links as possible. I also made sure to diligently stop at the BU table, during the three college fairs I attended outside of school. Unable to finance a trip to visit Boston, I frugally used Google maps 'street view' application, to "visit" BU's campus.

Making the most genuine connection through a two dimensional computer screen,making me realize Boston University was ideally where I belong
adex 2 / 9  
Nov 19, 2010   #2
Good idea but i made some grammatical errors.

Working at my summer job, a co-worker of mine, was in his last year at BU . I believed the modifying phrase is referring to you so it should reads.

Working at my summer job, I met a co-worker who was a senior in BU.
I asked him howwhy he likes Boston Univeristy

His illustration of a utopia with diversity in everything from the
people, to the places and professors.Intrigued,intrigued me . I looked into the schools website, I spent countless hours watching as many videos, reading as many paragraphs and clicking as many links as possible. I also made sure to stop at the BU table, at a college fair I attended and attended a college fair. Unable to finance a trip to Boston, I used the Google maps street view application, to "visit" the campus. Making the most genuine connection through a two dimensional computer screen was enough to make me realize Boston University, was ideally where I belong.

Hope this will help. Good luck.
OP lanes 5 / 33  
Nov 22, 2010   #3
thanks so much!!
i changed it a little how is this?

BU SUPPLEMEMT PARAGRAPH REVISED

can anyone help me with some advice on the essay
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 28, 2010   #4
Later that day, I looked into the schools website, since then I spent countless hours watching as many videos, reading tons of excerpts, and clicking as many links as possible. I learned that (List some of the important resources at the school that are related to YOUR particular plan for your studies)

I frugally used Google maps 'street view' application, to "visit" BU's campus. Let's not include any of this sort of thing. Let's just focus on using this as an opportunity to show them how much thought you have put into your career plans.

Know what I mean? The way you discuss the appeal of BU will reflect how well you have planned your studies, which in turn reflects your seriousness and determination.


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