Prompt: Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you ...
The bright sunshine, the breathtaking architecture, the vast expanses of hills...as soon as I opened that Stanford brochure I got from college night my freshman year, I knew that there was something unique about this noble and prestigious university. I'd like to say that I've aspired to be a cardinal since I was born, but I really can't. I knew nothing about this institution other than what was in the 8' x 10' brochure.
As I've continued to learn about Stanford over the past four years, I've discovered that there is a lot more to it that its Ivy-level reputation and its competitive 7 percent admit rate. I now realize that Stanford is beyond stunning appearances and frightening numbers, it is an institution that fosters imagination, creativity, and above all others freedom.
Stanford has been a pioneer in Engineering over the past few decades. It has been the home of Google, Yahoo, HP, and many more aspiring ideas. Stanford's location in the heart of the Silicon Valley, allows it to offer an unparalleled engineering curriculum that I've just had a taste of. I took open courseware courses this summer from Stanford's SEE program and was surprised to see how involved I felt by simply watching a YouTube video of a Stanford professor teaching Programming Methodology. I can't wait to see and learn from all that Stanford's world class professors have to offer me in person.
Stanford's research programs have been one of the most appealing factors to me. The integrated research opportunities in the undergraduate curriculum are sure to offer me a chance to give back to society. I may even have the opportunity to work with one of Stanford's Noble Laureates. To me, the most captivating research program at Stanford is Stanley and the DARPA Urban challenge. The opportunity to be able to work on and with Stanley fascinates me to no end. These and many more appealing qualities and opportunities have made me confident that Stanford is the perfect place for my curiosity and yearning for knowledge to grow and prosper over the next four years.
______________________________________________________________________ ____________
Concerns:
- Does the essay answer the prompt well and does it show why I want to attend Stanford?
- Are there any weak or unnecessary parts to remove, I dresprately need to remove words. I'm at 348 Words and the word limit is 250 , HELP!!!!!
- Anything else, please be as critical as you need to be. Thanks a lot.
I'd get rid of the 7% admit rate bit.. you're only saying that you can look up stats about the school. Aside from that, good.
overall, good idea. Im working on this essay now also. Try to stick with the most applicable reason why Stanford is the place for you. try not to venture off complimenting them. they know they are good - but how will YOU be good there. Thats what Im trying to think of as I write, anyway. Well you have a great start, hope I helped
So I revise it and
I'm still 28 words over, but I'm almost there. Thanks a lot guys. And also I don't know how much this sentence
Stanford has been a pioneer in Engineering over the past few decades. It has been the home of Google, Yahoo, HP, and many more aspiring ideas.
really helps. I don't know if I should keep it or not.
Remove that sentence they dont realy want to know about them the reader wants to know about you.
I took open courseware courses this summer from Stanford's SEE program and was utterly captivated by a simple YouTube video of a Stanford professor teaching Programming Methodology. I can only imagine all that Stanford professors can offer me in person.
i think that if you focused purely on this experience and what you SAW. this essay could be more personal and effective. :)
**please edit my northwestern essay!
So I was thinking if someone could tell me if the part about Stanley (a self driving car) and the DARPA urban challenge is necessary or not. And should i combine the first two paragraphs?Also I REALLY NEED HELP CUTTING OUT WORDS. so thanks a lot everyone. I'm at 261 words and the limit is 250.
I think you should remove the last sentence of the third paragraph.
"Stanford has been a pioneer in Engineering over the past few decades. It has been the home of Google, Yahoo, HP, and many more aspiring ideas. Stanford's location in the heart of the Silicon Valley, allows it to offer an unparalleled engineering curriculum"
I think the admission officers already know this - no need to repeat it. Similarly, the first 2 paragraphs can be omitted as well. You need to talk about how you plan to contribute to Stanford's unique community (and define what that community means to you). Good luck.
Thanks Everyone, I'm done with this essay and I applied today, Good Luck to everyone that helped and I'll do my best to get to you guys ASAP.
