Is it naive or do it sound like communism...? Please give me some advice... Thank you soooo much! Plus, I am not a native speaker, so I will really appreciate it if you would help correct my grammar mistakes :)
Prompt: Applying to college can be serious business; yet we're eager to get to know you in a less formal way. Have fun answering the following question: If you had a theme song - a piece of music that describes you best - what would it be and why? Please include the name of the song and the artist. (Limit response to 150 words)
"Imagine. Imagine there are no countries, no discrimination, and no violence; people share knowledge and technology with others without selfishness." When I was a little girl, I once murmured my imagination, but was soon interrupted brutally. "NaĂŻve dreamer." Someone laughed, which confused me. Was it really that hard? Why could not the world be as one when people held the same belief? However, it was not the first time and I kept silent finally.
I secretly persisted in my imagination but my confusion did not vanish until I heard <Imagine> by John Lennon for the first time. The song contained exactly the same seemly whimsical imagination as mine. John Lennon confessed he was a dreamer, too. What was different and the most important was he told me I was not the only one.
He was a dreamer; he was a doer. He imagined the heavenly world; he wrote the song. I played the song over and over again; then I wrote this essay.
Listen the song; join me.
This is really good! And great song choice, might I add. (:
Aha! I had not expected your answer! Than't quite surprising... I come from a socialist country... and still live there :)
My primary concern was that Americans would not agreed with my opinions because according to Blaney, Lennon's lyrics describe hypothetical possibilities that offer no practical solutions; lyrics that are at times nebulous and contradictory, asking the listener to abandon political systems while encouraging one similar to communism. However, it seems like I don't have to worry about it in a country that values freedom of thoughts :D
Thank you a lot!~~
3rd Version
"Imagine. Imagine there are no countries, no discrimination, and no violence; people share knowledge and technology with others without selfishness." When I was a little girl, I once shared my imagination with my classmates but was brutally interrupted. "NaĂŻve dreamer." Someone laughed, which confused me. Was it really that hard? Why could not the world be as one when people held the same belief? It was not the first time somebody laughed at my chimerical idea though, so I kept silent.
Bemused, I still persisted in my imagination but kept it to myself most of the time. My confusion did not vanish until I heard "Imagine" by John Lennon for the first time. The song contained exactly the same seemly whimsical world as mine. John Lennon confessed he was a dreamer, too. Most important, he told me I was not the only one.
He imagined the heavenly world and he wrote the song. I played the song over and over again and then I wrote this essay. He was a dreamer; he was a doer. And so am I.
I made some changes in the 2nd paragraph. Is it grammatically correct?
Thanks!!!~
Btw, people in socialist country value views of peace, too LOL~
I like the way you have answered the prompt. You show your creativeness in every bit of writing and I admire that :)
Only I wish if you said the following in present tense;
Was it really that hard?
Is it really that hard? and so do the next lines;
Why could not the world be as one when people held the same belief?
The song contained exactly the same seemly whimsical world as mine.
John Lennon's Imagine is one of my favorite songs too. : )
I couldn't find your essay written on "topic of your choice" but found this one while I was searching it :D
GOOD LUCK!
Thanks for your advice!!
Ahhh.. About "topic of my choice", I think I expressed it in a wrong way > <... I was trying to ask some suggestions on the theme of my essay "What frightens you"... I was worrying that people would not understand why I felt guilty and why this frightens me...>_<...
However, I am kind of happy that you misunderstood me and read this essay ;D I will change the sentence into present tense and I am really glad to hear you like it :) Thanks again!
