Here is the prompt and the essay. I am 81 words over, if you guys can find places where I can cut, i will be grateful. Also I feel like my grammar and transitions are needs a little work. Anyways be absolutely brutal, I will appreciate any feedback I get. I used roman numerals to indicate the paragraphs. Btw this is my first time posting a essay in a online forum
For Berkeley-Haas, there are four principles that, taken together, sharply define us relative to other business schools. As you reflect on these principles (Confidence without Attitude, Question the Status Quo, Students Always, Beyond Yourself) which one would you say you need to work on or see as a potential area for personal growth and improvement? Why?
(i) Quotes like "Imitation is suicide" and "Who so would be a man must be a nonconformist" from Ralph W. Emerson still inspires me today. I first heard the radical idea of questioning the norms in society, while studying Transcendentalism in my 11th grade English class. It was a very new and astonishing idea for me, because back in Bangladesh and here I followed the social norms. However, after reading the works by Thoreau, Emerson, and having some intense discussions in class, I started to change my thought process. I suddenly felt like I knew how to question everything, and find the flaws in our society. But as time progressed I also started to see the problems in my mental process. I realized, in order to apply the principle: Question the Status Quo, one must gain a lot of knowledge and experience. I believe real progress and change in society and business comes from this principle. To have a positive impact in this world through a successful business, I need to fully grasp this principle and ask the right questions.
(ii) In order to succeed, we are expected to follow a pathway that is defined by society, which are: go to high school, get into a University, graduate, start working, get promoted and retire. Also in high school and college, we are required to follow a certain curriculum, or else we can't graduate. I remember I spent a lot of time talking to my teacher about the consequences of accepting and rejecting these societal rules. I was so intrigued by this subject that I created The Socratic Club where we sat in a circle and shared our thoughts. Ultimately, we talked about the problems in education, religion, and careers. Sometimes we invented some amazing alternatives to the problems. Ultimately, however, I felt so powerless, because I knew it would be impossible to change the rules in our system. Also there was no guarantee that our solutions would work. Furthermore, I saw the hypocrisy within myself. I questioned the educational system, but I didn't do anything different. Even now, I am following the traditional educational path. I realized there is a reason these rules exist. I also realized that questioning the status quo is not very hard, but to question it intelligently and create with viable solutions requires much more effort, knowledge and experience.
(iii) Innovations and advancement in our society, comes from the questioning the status quo. People like Socrates, Galileo, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi all rebelled against the norm. They recognized the flaws and spoke out against them. At the time they were condemned for their beliefs but now they are celebrated for their contributions. In the business world, people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg are so successful because they rejected traditional business plans and envisioned something different. I am not suggesting that just by rejecting social norms one become the next Bill Gates, however I believe it is a beginning.
(iv) I want my business to be successful and unique. So thinking differently, identifying the problems and questioning the status quo intelligently are very crucial to me. This is ultimately why I am applying to a business school. I want to learn about the different business models, and analyze them. I want to have the confidence to question the status quo and start to implement the changes. Finally, I want to use my knowledge and experience to create the business that would be both financially successful and socially beneficial.
I am 81 words over, if you guys can find places where I can cut, i will be grateful.
Okk.... let's see :)
Quotes like "Imitation is suicide" and "Who so would be a man must be a nonconformist" from Ralph W. Emerson still inspires me today.
"Imitation is suicide"; "Who so would be a man must be a nonconformist" ; these quotes by Ralph W Emerson still inspire me.I first heard the radical idea of questioning the norms in society (no comma) while studying Transcendentalism in my 11th grade English class.
It was a very new and astonishing idea for me, because back in Bangladesh and here I followed the social norms.
With my conservative Bangladeshi origins I found this idea very astonishing and novel.Content-wise, I think you did an excellent job. You answered the question thoroughly, and even though you articulate well why you haven't fought the status quo, you also show how hard you are trying and how important you think the issue is. You also connect it back to business, which is a nice bonus!
