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'I immediately felt a desire to know more about the institution' - Why Madison?


ciuffom 1 / -  
Sep 14, 2014   #1
Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, share with us the academic, extracurricular, or research opportunities you would take advantage of as a student. If applicable, provide details of any circumstance that could have had an impact on your academic performance and/or extracurricular involvement.

When I first heard about the University of Madison I immediately felt a desire to know more about the institution. I ask others who visited previously and said the environment is always positive and the place is beautiful, it was not enough for me to hear from others I wanted to experience and see with my own eyes what UW-Madison has to offer. My desire to go to the school rouse once I started researching and learning they have more than 60 research facilities and their chemical engineering program is one of the top ten in the nation. Moreover, the institution values not only those who are high achievers but the all-rounded ones as well. As kid I always wanted to know more and more, but due to lack of groups in my school I was never able to fulfill my hunger for knowledge. My searches for knowledge continue elsewhere, eventually I was teaching myself topics such as chemistry, physics, and quantum physics topics that otherwise I would've never learned in my school and that have expand my horizon of my knowledge. This is why I would love to attend Madison as is a myriad of clubs and activities I could contribute without disregarding my education

Chemical engineering is in my best interest, but Im furthermore interesting in theoretical chemistry. Since im really incline to explore about the development of natural bond orbital (NBO). I plan to establish on physical chemistry as my major if I were to be accepted in UW-Madison

In terms of research opportunity I would definitely take advantage of exploring and understanding of the electronic structure of molecules by use of reduced density matrices. I could learn from a great mentor how to conduct independent experiments and develop new theories.

As for extracurricular activities I would love to join the swimming club where I could be part of something greater than myself, a team that I could call family. I think Madison would find me a great gain to part of their community where not only I could learn from the best but also see what I give to the school.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 14, 2014   #2
Additional work is required to further improve your essay prior to the proofreading for grammar and sentence structure issues. You said in your opening paragraph that you developed an immediate interest in UW-Madison after hearing about the university. Why is that? You need to mention specific information that proves how what you heard about the university influenced you when you first heard it.

My desire to go to the school rouse once I started researching and learning they have more than 60 research facilities and their chemical engineering program is one of the top ten in the nation

- The admissions officer already knows about the facilities of their university and their course curriculum. You don't need to tell him that. Instead, inform him about other things that aroused your interest. For example, a shared interest in developing engineering advancements. This informs the reader about where your inclinations lie.

You mentioned being self taught in terms of science and engineering. Expand this discussion to include the methods by which you self studied and what you learned about your abilities as a student from that experience. This is an important part of the essay that deals with factors that might affect your academic accomplishments.

Chemical engineering is in my best interest, but Im furthermore interesting in theoretical chemistry. Since im really incline to explore about the development of natural bond orbital (NBO). I plan to establish on physical chemistry as my major if I were to be accepted in UW-Madison

- Further discuss this sentence by explaining how UW-Madison will be able to help you develop yourself further in these fields.

In your final paragraph related to academic interests, you mentioned having an interest in researching molecules. Does UW-Madison offer any research grants or internships with scientists that can help you get immersed in such research? Where does the university fit in this aspect of your studies? Always relate all your plans to the university and how their support can help you grow as a person or scientist.

Now, about your extra curricular activities. Unless you excel tremendously in swimming and have been a winning member of a swim club in the past, I would not discuss that portion anymore as it seems irrelevant and disconnected to the previous parts of your essay. Concentrate instead on your academic accomplishments or shortcomings in relation to your future as a student at the university.


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