Please revise and check grammar.
Learning Immigration to America from China
A huge change arrived in my life at age of ten. When I was told that I'm going to immigrate to America from China, I found myself excited to see the new world. At that age, I didn't get what is difference between countries, until I learn more from the school and books, but all it done to me are strengthens my interest and excitement going to the other nation. Until the day we are on the airplane, I find out another emotion appeared in me. I'm fearing of something.
I don't know what am I afraid of at that time, until we get off the airplane and get into the street, I find out what I am scared of. The surrounding are so similar to what I use to see, but so strange to me. This difference scares me. The culture are the completely opposite from what I use to know. The language everyone is speaking next to me I have no idea what it means. I felt I'm the odd one in this place. Thinking of that, I realize my leg are shaking, sweat were dripping, and heart are pounding. I don't know what should I do to stop it.
I went to the apartment my dad rent already, and try to go to sleep. I barely have any sleep over the night, I just can't get rid of my fear. I woke up the morning with my eyes red, it the first day of school so I can't get out of it. I don't like school when I was in china, and I always slack off there. In school, there are Americans, Africans, Mexicans, and Asians, all of them are speaking in a language I couldn't understand. English, that the primary language in this country, I do know some basic of the language, but still couldn't understand what people are saying.
The worst thing are most of the teachers talk in English, I have no idea what they are talking about. All my classmate are Chinese like I am, but all of them know much more English than I did. I started to feel lonely, I'm afraid to be alone, I don't want my life to be like that. I find out the only way I could done is to be at the same level as the others. By the time I realize, I have been kept studying like five hours a day. Right after school, I went to the homework club until 5:30, then I went to take a extra class outside school to learn English from 6:00 to 8:00.
I have never study this hard before in my life. I realize I have changed. I change from someone who slack off all the time to someone try their hardest for what they wanted. I want to say thank you to my dad for this significant experience he give me. This experience has change everything around me also everything inside of me."When I was ten, I received a whopper (or other suitable adjective) of a surprise: I was going to America.
Initially, when I learned I was immigrating to the States, I was excited (why). I was only (X) years old and, despite extensive research on life in America, I didn't realize how large of a transition moving would be. It wasn't until I stepped on the airplane that I began to feel trepidation (fear)."
I would try and focus more on your adjustment to life in America than on how you were "lazy" back in China. Also, try having a friend read through it, and read it out loud to yourself, so you can identify grammatical errors.
I agree with enabledowner, the essay is a bit cliche. you'll have to do something to hook the officer and make it stand out from all the other essays about immigration
Thanks for the advise. I change my whole essay, so please revise it, tell me if this one is better and check the grammar please.
When I was ten, I received a whopper of a surprise: I am going to to America. Initially, when I learned I was immigrating to United State, I was excited because I have always been a adventurer, going to the new country arouse my curiosity. I was only ten years old and, despite extensive research on life in America, I didn't realize how large of a transition moving would be. It wasn't until I stepped on the land of U.S that I began to feel trepidation.
Extraordinary, that describes everything cast in my eye. Everything surround me are all composed of the material I see in everyday life, only all the object operates with English. I only have little knowledge of English, I will have to blame on myself for all the hardest coming up soon. I have taken several English class outside school when I was in China. Only that all the tuition fee paid for the class is a dilapidation. To me, the existence of school and class was only for me to sleep, socialize, and pass time. I have no motion for doing school work, being the most lazy one in the class.
The rank for my laziness could probably be the number one of my school. In all course I have taken, homework are never turn in complete. I use the five minute left of each class to start my homework. Whenever the bell rings, is the time I shove my book in my backpack, the next time I dig it out is always the time my homework are due.
In every course I have taken, the English course I take extra outside school is where I slack off the most. I have waste the time and effort teacher try to put on me. Whenever we practice dialogue in the class, I practice my sleeping skills. Homework given in the class always become a piece of artwork. Words spoken are my lullaby. Activity time is my free time. No rewards was ever giving, no effort was ever put in the class.
Due to my immigration, I learn a lifetime lesson: reward don't always come right after effort. No effort were put in my English class, no reward are earned. I can't communicate with the society of American without any knowledge of English. I have already lost my reward, which is to communicate with others at the beginning.
Not being able to communicate with anyone is the worst thing I can think of. I try my hardest to retrieve my reward for being able to communicate. I have change inside out, to something I never think I would be. Now I have changed, from being a loafer to being a "nerd". This is what changes me: effort might not always retrieve you a reward, but for sure no effort won't reward anyone.
