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Essay on Personal Impact of Athletic Events


ahoogland 1 / 4  
Oct 28, 2012   #1
I am a different person because of my participation in athletic events. I have experienced varying degrees of success and enjoyment during competitive sports since third grade. My involvement in extracurricular athletics taught me camaraderie, intensified my work ethic, and refined my leadership skills.

Each season brings new teammates, goals, and challenges. When forming a team it is necessary to adapt yourself to best suit team dynamics. By sacrificing and collaborating to reach a shared goal, a team forms bonds comprised of mutual trust and interdependence. I have learned to bring my positive traits into a team and leave my less desirable traits behind.

I am intrinsically motivated to reach my full potential as a student-athlete. Sports allow me to push myself to new levels physically and mentally everyday. Success lets me celebrate hard work; failure prompts me to analyze weaknesses and refocus to improve myself and teammates. By being a positive role model and leader I inspire others to strive for success. These experiences have instilled in me perseverance, fortitude and initiative, desirable traits in any situation.

Through interscholastic athletic events I have learned to cooperate, lead, and work better than those without athletic background. I am more prepared for success in later studies, work, and family life due to these skills.
kashmoney 1 / 4  
Oct 28, 2012   #2
Hey,

What is this essay for? (Common app, supplement, etc.)

Well I really like everything you have there-I think you capture the essence of team sports effectively. But I'm left wondering why and example wasn't used? I think you could show a lot of the things you mention, much more effectively than you can talk about them (ex.

When forming a team it is necessary to adapt yourself to best suit team dynamics. By sacrificing and collaborating to reach a shared goal, a team forms bonds comprised of mutual trust and interdependence. I have learned to bring my positive traits into a team and leave my less desirable traits behind.

Could you show that?

Sports allow me to push myself to new levels physically and mentally everyday.

How?

And also, maybe make the sentence about being a role model a little more natural or subtle, it kinda seems different than the rest of the sentences, which focus on you.

I wrote a similar essay, except focused on bball- think you could take a look at it pls?


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