Prompt: What matters to you, and why? (Max: 2000 characters)
I was stuck with the misfortune of writing yet another "hamburger" essay. My ideas would have no room to breathe with this mold. How could I write about the impact of religion on society with this generic structure?
I struggled to whittle down my ideas to three distinct arguments. Finally, I began. Introductory paragraph: hook, background information, thesis with three ideas to be explicated. Body paragraphs: topic sentence relating to the thesis, concrete detail one, two sentences of commentary, concrete detail two, another two sentences of commentary, conclusion. Concluding paragraph: summarize what I wrote and wrap it all up. The end product: a mechanical abomination of vapid thought masquerading as an essay with no passion, no voice, no life. It was embarrassing to read my own writing, a writer's worst nightmare. And yet, I had no choice but to print the document.
Until the eleventh grade, this was the process that dictated my essay writing. I dreaded writing them, for they stripped me of my creative freedom by encouraging stilted language, inflexible structure, and trivialized analysis. I yearned for freedom and flexibility, a departure from this soulless writing.
It has been more than a year since I've written a hamburger essay, but the sentiment remains. Much of my life and education has been filtered through my parents and school. What matters to me, as a result, is having a voice without restraints, without censorship. A voice that can freely express whatever its heart desires however it wants. And whether it's through voting, writing, campaigning, or just talking, or about media, politics, or literature, that voice will be heard.
Questions:
-Does it answer the prompt fully?
-Is it interesting?
-Is it well-written (in terms of language and flow)?
-Should I expand on anything? (It's only 1672 characters right now.)
Those are the main things I'm concerned about, but any other comments or feedback is much appreciated! Thanks!
