NAROPA ESSAY- Person who has had an influence on you essay common app
I've heard countless metaphors describing life's joy, love, tribulations, disappointments, and pure unpredictability; the triumphs and pitfalls of our collective human journey, and our individual experiences. "Life is a corn maze", "life is a box of chocolates", "life is an ocean wave". As valid, imaginative, and insightful as each of these expressions may be, I have found that above all, my life is a set of twins. My twin brother, Max and I have been inseparable since birth. My parents used to place us on opposite sides of our crib, only to wake every morning without fail to find me and my brother together, in the center of the crib, holding hands. This act symbolizes the relationship between me and my brother perfectly, no matter how separated and distant we may be at times; we are ultimately permanently tied in each other's hearts.
therefore coping and overcoming thesesituations in place was even more challenging for me
on my life and helping me to grow into Helping sounds awkward to me for some reason
a bit more untraditionallynon-traditionally
helped to teach me
Amazing essay! Just a few awkward phrasing that caught my eye. I am not a grammar person, but as far as flow/structure/wow factor and other logistical and big picture stuff, it looks amazing! Max seems like an amazing person. AND SO DO YOU ; )
can someone please edit mine?
Dear Amelia
Wow you are a very intelligent writer! I think it is a tremendous paper! I commend you on your career goals! I know that so, so, many American children feel like your brother. Here in Florida children must enroll in pre-k and then kindergarten in addition to 12 years of primary and secondary schooling. A lot of kids feel there is very little reward for 14 years of school. Upon earning my MBA I am going to establish a Success Academy that will enable students to earn AA, AS, BS, and Masters while in high school. Its not dual enrollment! I hope my evaluation of your writing as superior is in line with an admissions counselor. I too am making the transition to college!
GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS
Thanks very much for your feedback! Good luck to you!