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Essay on the importance of diversity-common app


satellite305 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2008   #1
This is my essay, I would really appreciate if someone can help me edit it! My grammar is a mess! Thanks a lot!

A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

It was a cold rainy day; the wind was in a hurry as that strong aroma of rain rushed through my nose. It was definitely one of those days that nobody wanted to go to school. I held on tightly to my dad's hand, following closely behind him as we walked to my new school. The principal greeted us, and I was assigned to my 4th grade classroom. The room was fully carpeted, with decorations along the walls, and there in the center of the room was a rocking chair. As I entered the room I was so fascinated with each and everything in the little warm room that I quickly forgot about my fears of meeting the "Western" kids. Moving from China to Canada and having to adapt to a totally new environment at the age of nine were exceptionally hard, never mind trying to learn a new language and eat different food. As years went by, I slowly neutralized to fit in the western society; I was dissolved in the "melting pot". I have become just like the kids that I tried to avoid when I first arrived, I was "westernized" except, I hold what's part of me that the others don't have and that is having two different cultures and heritages that I call my own.

I am very proud of having two cultures within me, my friends consider me lucky because I get to have presents during Christmas and "red pockets" during Chinese New Year. Well, that isn't the whole case for me. What I benefited the most for being in the "melting pot" is that through people of different race, I learned of their customs and traditions. I saw the uniqueness of their life style and I gained tremendous amount of knowledge about people of other race which an ordinary kid in China will never get to have. I learned to look at things in a more broad and different perspective.

Impossible! How could a Chinese kid be best friends with a Jamaican? That is what I and many others would of said. I met my later-childhood best friend <CENSORED> in 5th grade. We had one thing in common, and it was not our race, it was the love of basketball. Now looking back when I was in elementary school with <CENSORED>, little did we know that we broke the racial barrier in our school; we were the only kids hanging out that had different skin colors. Knowing <CENSORED> made me learn a lot about the Jamaican culture and heritage. I've had everything from patties to yams to jerk chicken with mango sauced rice, listening to the pleasant tune of reggae and hearing <CENSORED> speak in his native tongue; "patois" . Heck I think I was meant to be close to Jamaicans since my birthday is on the same day that Jamaica became independent from British rule! At the same time, I have cleared up some stereotypical and untrue facts about Chinese people with <CENSORED>. He believed things like...all Chinese people eat cats, all Chinese people are smart, all Chinese people have small eyes, and all Chinese people knows Kung Fu. I am impressed that at a young age we were able to connection and learn about each other's culture and background. We went on to 8th grade together, the same year we as part of the school basketball team won the regional championships, the same year that I had to move to the United States. One thing I know for sure is that <CENSORED> will never view a Chinese person the same way he did before, and I was exposed to different cultures and backgrounds which eased me through my years at <CENSORED> high school, one of the most diverse high schools in the United States.

I often find myself thinking that if diversity existed in every country, the world would be a better and more peaceful place. For most people judge others by their outer appearance rather than their inner self and too many "assumptions" are being made. Diversity is the solution to stereotyping and racism, each of us is bound by our cultural limitation, but in diversity we see more options and more ideas, it helps us to understand society better. Diversity had prepared me for the real world.
piggytails626 2 / 7  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
I think this has a lot of potential but it seems like each paragraph is a whole new essay.
I like the first two paragraphs but the opening of the third is a little off and the idea totally changes. This is just my opinion though.

Hope I helped! Good luck!!
OP satellite305 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
Thank you so much for the suggestions!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 31, 2008   #4
Moving from China to Canada and having to adapt to a totally new environment at the age of nine were exceptionally hard -- nevermind trying to learn a new language and adapt to other cultural differences. As years went by, I slowly acclimated and began to fit in the western society; I was dissolved in the "melting pot."

I am very proud of having two cultures within me; my friends consider me lucky because I get to have presents during Christmas and "red pockets" during Chinese New Year.

He believed that all Chinese people eat cats, are smart, have small eyes, and and know Kung Fu.This is funny.. :)

Wow, this is a very meaningful essay. Good luck in school!!!
qiuerwei 2 / 5  
Jan 1, 2009   #5
What a wonderful essay.
Good luck :)


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