"The importance of the Spanish Language in my Life" - CU Boulder Diversity Essay

The University of Colorado at Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?

"ĄHola, estudiantes! żCómo están?"

These simple Spanish sentences that literally translate to, "Hello, students! How are you?" were among the first that I heard in my Spanish class. While at first, they were nothing more than mere equivalents of familiar English terms that I had to memorize for the sake of earning a decent grade, these words have come to shape much of my daily life, both in and outside of the classroom.

In my first semester of 7th grade, I felt just as timid and confused as the majority of the preteens that surrounded me. The new building, classes, teachers, students and even lunch food mystified me, and I simply believed that it was all just too overwhelming. With that being said, I immediately began to regret signing up for Spanish 1A. Trying to learn a new language was the absolute last thing that I wanted as I struggled to cope with the major shift in my life.

However, I began to notice an unexpected sentiment of anticipation every day before entering Spanish 5th period. I raised my hand each time the teacher, Mrs. Kaul, asked who could translate a word or phrase of English into Spanish. Seemingly unconsciously, I memorized the mnemonic devices she gave us, quickly learning how to pronounce vowels and decide placements of accent marks in words. I had never before been so enthralled in school.

As I progressed through Spanish classes every year, the fascination began to fade. It had morphed from a uniquely intriguing experience to a mundane time spent memorizing an endless span of vocabulary and grammatical quirks that seemed just as oppressing as my first days of middle school. I seriously considered not signing up for Spanish after I had completed the recommended amount.

Fortunately, I continued. It wasn't until now that I realized the possibilities that the language has created. I am able to understand and relate to an entire population that would have otherwise remained foreign. The indescribable passion that I first felt has been refilled, if not surpassed. I am able to read brilliant works by Spanish-speaking authors such as Isabelle Allende and Gabriel García Márquez, who each offer invaluable knowledge and insight that loses its full meaning in translation.

With my renewed infatuation with the language, I now seek to speak Spanish as much as possible. In AP Spanish, I am able to consistently practice perfecting the language daily with my classmates. In Diversity Club, I have visited several festivals and museums centered on the Spanish culture, conducted almost entirely in Spanish.

Needless to say, I plan on continuing speaking Spanish in and after college. It has offered me a completely different way of thinking and allowed me to connect to a beautiful culture. In college, I hope to connect with students equally as devoted to the language as I am. I also hope to take advantage of the Study Abroad option and travel to a Spanish-speaking country in order to put my knowledge to physical practice.

That's 500 words exactly, which is the limit. My main issue is that I don't really answer the question until the last paragraph, and even then, only do it briefly. Is there too much storytelling? Or does it work? Thanks for your help.

I think you can come up with a spicier adverb than literally. A reader just kind of casually goes over literally, but if you use a word like "spritely" or "thunderously" a reader is going to be like "Woah. Pretty creative, man. Pretty creative." Obviously those examples don't really make sense here (but something coming from you will be much more captivating since you are personally attached to this topic) and, "literally" is perfectly fine--you don't have to change it. (Just a stylistic suggestion)


That you heard? Don't you hear things all the time? But how often do words hit you? When do they smack your ears? Have they ever furiously marched in a captivating rhythm right into your hearing devices (ears)?


You don't need a comma there =)

The new building, classes, teachers, students, and even lunch food mystified me, and I simply believed that it was all just too overwhelming.
I feel like the second comma should be a semicolon...
Why simply?
The new building, classes, teachers, students, and even lunch food mystified me; it was all just too overwhelming.
You can write "consequently," after the semicolon if you feel uncomfortable without a coordinating adverb.

With that being said, uneasiness/discomfiture/anxiety/etc.,

I had never before been so enthralled inwith school.
I think the idiom is "enthralled with"


experience to a mundane timeactivity spent memorizing an endless span
Span? Didn't we talk about this, Brandon? =) How about waterfall?


Ah, the tense is kind of off here. It's past (continued) present (now) past (realized). Pick one, please =)


:D


Nice!

with students equally as devoted
"As" implies equality ^_^


I'm personally a big fan of storytelling, so I don't think I can give an impartial answer. But I really liked your story! You really showed the progression of your relationship with Spanish =D You can include more about the college part if you have room and something genuine to add, it would definitely look nice; though what you already said was pretty good.

I suggest adding 1 or 2 more concepts to this essay. It will be like orange juice from concentrate. You can CONDENSE this discussion of learning Spanish (and take out the unnecessary details), and then add a whole new topic. That way you can get a unique theme as you blend the 2 topics about how you can contribute to diversity. Also, your intro might not be as good as it could be. It is too simplistic. So... I think you can add a lot of life to this if you add a new topic to compare and contrast with the language topic, and then go revise the intro and conclusion so that they express a unique theme that reflects that unique combination.

I have seen a lot of essays like this, and the solution is usually to add a new idea, a new concept, and compound the meaningfulness.

:-)