*I think there are many grammartical mistakes. The sentence sturctures are bad. I really need help in this essay. I also think my closing is not interesting.
I was very nervous. My hands were shaking and my heart beat faster. I was praying to God for the best. I did not want to get embarrassed in that big platform. I was the next person to go up on the stage to perform. It was the first show of my life. It was 2001, a show arranged for the students of my school, which was to be broadcasted on TV. After few minutes my turn came. All those stage lights were blinding my eyes, and those cameras in front of my face were like monster to me. I started singing neglecting all my fear. I fought my greatest fear that day in front of that big camera and all those people standing around me. Everyone clapped until I left the stage.
I was only six years old when I started my singing. I remember the excitement of my first singing class. Singing has made me passionate, determined and confident. I still remember one of my audience's comments, which has influenced my life. After finishing my performance, she told me "You have the God gifted power to make others happy through your singing. Try to use that power and you will get love in return". This is such an influencing line to make me more confident in my work. I get the most happiness when everyone admires me after my performance.
My most favorite activity besides school is singing. It is the reflection of my soul. I am very passionate about my singing. I have learned many lessons from it. Participation in many competitions has taught me the importance of will power and the way to stand out in the crowd. It's not only good talent needed for winning. A winner needs strong will and own satisfaction. I have obtained those powers, which have made me winner.
I have gone through many experiences while singing. It has influenced my personal life. Every time I sing, I feel the same excitement as a four-year-old kid feels at the first day
of school. I learn new things every time from it. Singing is a part of my life. I can make others happy which makes me cheerful as well. I want to continue my singing. I always consider singing as my teacher. Music has shaped me today as a matured person. I have learned passion, determination and confidence from it. I will make the use of all the lessons learned in each step of my life.
I have corrected some of your prepositions and included more linking words and also added some missing articles. You may also want to think about how the paragraphs could fit better totgether and avoid too much repetition.
I was very nervous. My hands were shaking and my heart beat faster. I was praying to God for the best as I did not want to get embarrassed on that big platform. I was the next person to go up on the stage to perform and it was the first show of my life. It was 2001, a show arranged for the students of my school, which was to be broadcasted on TV. After a few minutes my turn came. All those stage lights were blinding my eyes, and those cameras in front of my face were like monsters to me. However I started singing , ignoring all my fears. I fought my greatest fear that day in front of that big camera and all those people standing around me. Everyone clapped until after I left the stage.
Although I was only six years old when I started my singing, I still remember the excitement of my first singing class. Singing has made me passionate, determined and confident. I still remember one of my audience's comments, which has influenced my life. After finishing my performance, she told me "You have a God given power to make others happy through your singing. Try to use that power and you will get love in return". That was such an influence in making me more confident in my work. I get the most happiness when everyone admires me after my performance.
My most favorite activity besides school is singing. It is the reflection of my soul. I am very passionate about my singing. I have learned many lessons from it. Participation in many competitions has taught me the importance of will power and the way to stand out in the crowd. It's not only good talent needed for winning. A winner needs strong will and his/her own satisfaction. I have obtained those powers, which have made me a winner.
I have gone through many experiences while singing. It has influenced my personal life. Every time I sing, I feel the same excitement as a four-year-old kid feels on the first day
of school. I learn new things every time from it. Singing is a part of my life. I can make others happy which makes me cheerful as well. I want to continue my singing. I always consider singing as my teacher and music has shaped me today as a matured person. I have learned passion, determination and confidence from it. I will make the use of all the lessons learned in each step of my life.
Thankyou so much.
I will try to improve my repitition problem.
Thanks for your help again.
I was praying to God for the best, as I did not want to be embarrassed on that big platform.
After just a few minutes, my turn came. All those stage lights were blinding my eyes, and the cameras in front of my face looked like monsters to me. As I began to sing, I suddenly forgot about the anxiety I had been experiencing. I faced my greatest fear that day in front of that big camera and all those people standing around me. Everyone clapped until I left the stage.
I still remember one of my audience members comments, which has influenced my life.
This comment and great compliment, has influenced me greatly, and has made me much more confident in my work.
My favorite activity besides school is singing.
A winner needs a strong will to succeed, and and confidence in his abilities. I have obtained these qualities, which have made me a winner.
Every time I sing, I feel the excitement of a child on the first day
of school.
I want to continue my singing, as I have always considered it a great teacher.
Music has shaped and matured me.
I thought your ending was great. Interesting subject, good luck!
:)
Kevin
Thankyou so much Kevin.
I was so depressed about my essay. I feel better now.
hey
I really like your ending. the comparison with the excitement of a 4 year old is a good analogy.
Really nice essay good work.
