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"Important Issue to you" College Entrance essay


woox 3 / -  
Nov 11, 2007   #1
Hi guys... these are my college app essays I am doing, and I just need them proof read to make sense,and if its good or not. I really need some help on these and am willing to donate via paypal if I can get good help.

This is the first out of my 3 essays, just posting it here first to see how it goes and if I feel comfrotable I will post the rest.

Well here goes, this first one is about any issue important to me, so I wrote about the stuff below (there is no limit):


Trashing money is not something we would expect anyone to do. Then why do schools in Texas and throughout the United States do this? Recycling is a abused and ignored subject in society today which is burning up our money. Recycling needs to be a important part of a school as it helps preserve the environment and save money.

With the rising costs of various goods today, recycling is an easy solution to alleviate those costs. Take a look at unleaded gas. In Texas today, unleaded gas is hitting and surpassing the three dollar mark per gallon. An average high school in Texas throws away roughly five hundred cans daily. Research shows that recycling one can is saving half a gallon of gasoline (Weyerhauser); hypothetically meaning that one high school can save about two hundred and fifty gallons of gasoline a day. Theoretically, millions of gallons of gasoline could be saved nationwide if every high school in America participated in a recycling program. And all it would take is that schools add green bins in every classroom to collect bottles. Why should oil than be imported from foreign countries if we can utilize the power of recycling and conserve our own oil for a lower price? It would almost seem as if the government would want people to burn up their money. True that recycling might take a bit longer to process and recycle, but it does overall use less resources and money as compared to giant factories and imports. Recycling is a cheaper, and more environmental friendly solution, that helps money and resources.

Plastic bottles such as water, and energy drinks are quickly becoming a popular item in schools today. With society constantly speeding up and getting busier day by day, people simply don't have the time they used to, and resort to substitute methods to save time. Plastic bottles are the symbol of indolence. People today are simply too lazy or busy to go up and grab a quick sip at the water fountain and continue back doing what they were. According to The Container Recycling Institute, one high school on average trashes 3,200 water bottles a day. Aggregating all the high schools in the nation, that would easily shoot pass the million mile stone, and billions within a year. Trashing plastic bottles rather than recycling severely hurts the environment. EPA records that millions of sea creatures die annually because of wasted plastic bottles which are thrown into the oceans and landfills instead of being reused. A simple yet effective solution could be created if schools started recycling, and started to get people into a good habit in doing so early. Investing a short amount of money in recycled bins in classrooms all throughout United States schools would be a short amount of money in placing recycling bins throughout US schools would be a smart investment, as its benefits are vast. True that some schools might have a small recycle bin placed in the corner of the room, far from sight, but how much could that small recycling bin really hold? Not even enough to go through a day without being dumped out before it could be used to recycle. Schools need to implement larger recycling bins in all class rooms and enforce the importance of recycling to students.

More resources are expedited on creating a product from raw materials, as compared to recycled material. The only advantage there is between using raw and recycled material is that raw material takes less time versus recycling. For recycled material, the material has to be recycled so it can be reused again, then it can be used by factories for exporting goods. Thousands of trees are cut down every day just to create paper, and millions of resources are exhausted every day to create every day material that can be easily reused through recycling. Why does the government oversee this important concept, and continue to ignore it? Such a simple method with powerful results being neglected is shocking, and needs more attention and reconsideration in our society today.

However recycling is even frowned upon in some schools such as my current high school. In Allen High School, a group of students and I with a sponsor decided to start a recycling program for our school. We delivered green bins to every class room, and came around every few days to collect the recycled waste. Classrooms would have their giant bins full to the top every time we came around to collect the recycled materials, which resulted in the export of thousands of bottles a day. However after a few months of success the school board came and shut down the recycling organization because there was a complaint that the recycled bottles which piled up near the end of the day made the class room seem sullied and unprofessional. The School Boards seem to be against the promotion of recycling, when thousands of bottles were being exported a day by students, and a school was attempting to make a difference and recycle, the school board shut us down.

Recycling is an ignored and abused subject by many throughout society today. No enforcement or promotion is being advertised by schools, and this is affecting the current and future generations in the long run. Recycling is an effective tool to help preserve our planet, conserve resources and save money that needs to be implemented in high schools throughout the US.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Nov 12, 2007   #2
Greetings!

We provide our services for free. I'd be happy to help with some editing tips!

Trashing money is not something we would expect anyone to do. Then why do schools in Texas and throughout the United States do this? Recycling is an abused and ignored subject in society today and neglecting it just burns up our money. Recycling is [delete "a"] needs to be an important part of a school as it helps preserve the environment and help saves money.

With the rising costs of today of various goods, recycling is an easy solution to alleviate those costs. - Whenever you use the article "a" before a noun, if the noun starts with a vowel (a, e,i,o,u) you must use "an" instead of "a". You will need to change this in your essay wherever it appears.

one high school can save about two hundred and fifty gallons of oil a day. - This figure seems very high! Perhaps it's true, but be sure your facts are correct.

It would almost seem as if the government would want people to burn up their money. - This bit if editorializing really does not add to your essay; I'd delete it.

More resources are expedited on creating a product from raw materials, as compared to recycled material. - I think perhaps you meant "expended" rather than "expedited."

Why does the government oversee this important concept, and continue to ignore it? Such a simple method with powerful results being neglected is shocking, and needs more attention and reconsideration in our society today.

The School Boards seemed to be against the promotion of recycling. When thousands of bottles were being exported a day by students, and a school was attempting to make a difference and recycle, the school board shut us down.

No enforcement or promotion is being advertised by schools, and this is affecting the current and future generations in the long run.

You might also want to go through and make sure you don't have too much repetition of the same points. Even with no word limit, you want your writing to be streamlined.

Keep up the good work--our planet appreciates it! :-)

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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