Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 7

Impossible Is Nothing- Adidas

ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Jan 9, 2010   #1
In an essay of approximately 300 words, let us know why you want to be a member of the University Honors Program.

I am a dreamer. I dream big, Superman dreams; like helping the guinea worm infested Africa or saving Dubai from further financial crisis. I chose International Relations as my major in order to triumph over these menacing horrors. Yet, I also know that even if I spend a hundred lifetimes on my pursuit- solving the HIV crisis in Africa, for instance, I may only be able to clean the shoes off just the minions of world issues. My "dreams" of global peace and breaking down barriers is so near the realm of impossibility, it sucks away the lives and hearts of those with similar dreams like a humongous vortex. I choose to be sucked in.

I stare at an approaching storm of international contention, and I tell myself, "Not yet... I must be prepared." In a world of unpredictable change, of endless problems ranging from religious rights to health assistance, I simply do not have time. Through George Washington's Honor Program, I must excel at every chance that I receive. I must be best equipped in order to target global obstacles. I aspire in foreign relations knowing that I may not be able to "save the world", but I am unwavering in my determination to change it. I will use the Honors Program at GW in order enrich my education in foreign relations. Through its multi-disciplinary study, I hope to gain a wider scope of knowledge; I must be prepared to vase a diverse set of obstacles. The Honors Program will embolden me as a world citizen so that I will have a chance; a chance to offer tribes food and clothing in the Sub- Sahara. A chance to pry open a mutual respect in the Middle East. A chance to reign over a dream that many call impossible.
Envie 4 / 60  
Jan 10, 2010   #2
Did you go to Mason Elementary School in Georgia...? :o

Well, I think you need to approach this essay in a different way; you are simply stating nearly contradicting statements.

You put out there that world cannot be "saved" yet you go on using up your words talking about how you will nevertheless try. Well, to be frank, we don't care.

We want to know WHY you want to be a part of George Washington's Honors Program. You need to incorporate your love for international relations studies to what the program can provide you. This essay about how you will strive for "the dream that many call impossible" shows nothing about you or why you want to be in the program. It simply tells a quite cliched story about how you want world peace but you don't think you can get it.

As I've said before, we don't care.

And the whole sentence about you not being prepared is seemingly unnecessary. You need to start writing about your passion (if there is any) for international relations while at the same time incorporating GW's unique assets (remember, GW hates being secondary and hates being safety for many schools like Georgetown so they want to hear unique assets which attracted you rather than sets of characteristics that apply to many different schools).

Here's a hint: talk about one of their important schools.
Bella329 2 / 4  
Jan 10, 2010   #3
I feel like your essay is unorganized. In the beginning I didn't know where you were going/what you were talking about (even though I had the prompt right above it). It was until the 2nd paragraph I understood. Try flip flopping your paragraphs.

1. State what you want (which is somewhere in your 2nd paragraph) and
2. State why you want it, because you are... "a dreamer. I dream big, Superman dreams;..."

Also I don't like all the analogies and examples you give. It crowds the essay and I feel like you are not getting your point across.

I hope this helps!!
lowcal 12 / 27  
Jan 10, 2010   #4
you're syntax and writing style is well written. however, you're sentences seem quite jumbled up. try mentioning one of the courses that you will take at the Program and how that will help you in your future aspiration in with in Foreign Relations. Also, maybe weave in what you would give to the program as well.
OP ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Jan 10, 2010   #5
ok... haha - I think, perhaps, I misinterpreted the prompt. This prompt asks, "why the honors program."

BUT The essay before it states, "Why George Washington and your major?"...

I took this prompt as, "why do u want an accelerated course as opposed to the regular."
Envie 4 / 60  
Jan 10, 2010   #6
No, the honors program at GW will open up a lot of opportunities so it's not just why do you want to be in an accelerated track vs. regular.

You didn't go to elementary in Georgia, right? I mean, you're probably just one of many Samuel Lee's but just in case :P
OP ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Jan 10, 2010   #7
Haha nope. Sorry. :D

Home / Undergraduate / Impossible Is Nothing- Adidas