the opportunity to excel in career
Is Waterloo the best engineering university in Canada? Yes. Does it have the best Cs and Se courses? Absolutely. But the most intriguing reason why I chose Waterloo is due to the opportunity to excel in career. My prodigious passion for programming and having a positive impact in the real world led me to select Software Engineering and Computer Science as my major. Waterloo is one of the most reputable universities in Silicon Valley and ranked 4th for full time hires going to Google. I believe that the Waterloo co-op program shall not only prepare me for the rigorous industry but also develop my entrepreneurship skills to create the next big thing. My interest in Waterloo intensified when I personally contacted 3 alumni from Waterloo who had work experiences at top tech companies like Google, Shopify, and Blackberry. Their positive feedback and constructive advice convinced me that I could achieve my dream of working for Google someday. In addition, courses like CS 480 and CS 486 caters to my interest in Artificial Intelligence and the advanced technology.
##Kindly help me improve this essay and feel free to mention any points I have missed out. Thank you for your response.##
I think this is really well written, the only thing I feel that could be improved on would be your introduction. The introduction feels a little informal and fast pace, so I would suggest making it a little longer and more formal sounding. Other than that, the rest of it reads nicely and it highlights your passion for engineering really well.
Best of luck!
Mohammad, your excitement about applying to Waterloo is evident in the essay. However, beyond the excitement, there isn't anything in your statement that tells me your personal reasons for choosing the university in relation to your major. You are telling the reviewer things that he already knows. What you have to do is frame your response in a manner that doesn't sound like you are just repeating tired and well known information.
Rather than telling the reviewer that you know the graduates of Waterloo go on to work at Google, you should instead say that you see your future as an expert working at Google and you look forward to being trained towards Google level competency through the so and so program of Waterloo. The reviewer doesn't care about their university ranking, he is already proud of that. Neither will your interaction with their graduates impress the reviewer.
Focus your response on your professional goal of working at Google and how you know Waterloo can help you prepare for that. Talk about your plans, your ideas for research as a student, any topic that will allow you highlight the academic and professional opportunities afforded by Waterloo that will eventually lead to your career start at Google.