- College of Arts and Sciences essay: (500 words)
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
My father, like many fathers before him, wanted his son to be rich and famous, a doctor in other words. Without doubt, he probably drew-out my life roadmap plotting out each destination; one point for Harvard medical school, another point for my PhD and another as a brain surgeon. I won't deny that I was quite brilliant in biology, but every now and then, because my father didn't understand, he would go back to his map to dust it off and sigh.
I, like many sons before me, wanted to be a physicist. My father never understood; he always said the only difference between physicists and benches is that benches can support a family of 4. Physics, why? Isn't biology so much easier for you? That was reason enough; biology was too easy. I don't know what attracted me to physics, but I assure it wasn't gravity. It took me 16 years of nurturing under Feynman quotes, SciAm magazines, physicsforums.com, and the occasional capacitor shockings to realize the simplistic beauty and inspiration in complexity that physics offers; all I can say is that the wait was worth it.
Unlike every son before me, I spent my middle school days creating chemicals from household supplies or building and taking apart gimmicks, most infamously my father's lawnmower; here I kindled my love for engineering. Although now I help lead my highschool's robotics team, I recollect my father scorning me asking what I could possibly do with a screwdriver. With a second chance, I would have told him that I love that screwdriver the same way both of us love music. It is the feeling of inspiration to create something and the feeling of accomplishment when it is made; why I would give up the world's riches to be a man like that!
I just wanted to see if it made sense, and also if the style is likeable so far; I havent gotten into the why cornell part...
In addition, grammar changes are welcome too
"I won't deny that I was quite brilliant in biology, but every now and then, because my father didn't understand, he would go back to his map to dust it off and sigh."
there's nothing before that that makes the "but" logical. You need something to evoke that "but". It seems like biology was not on your father's roadmap. I would suggest something like "...brilliant in biology, but I had other interests.
Additionally you said "I, like many sons before me, wanted to be a physicist. My father never understood" He was one of the sons before you who wanted to be a physicist so I don't get how he didn't understand.
Other than that, its pretty good. It has a strong introduction. I enjoyed the "road map" The brief conversation in the second paragraph where you were asking questions then answering them was cool.