I feel like my ending isn't strong and I was looking for feedback on the content. I want another example which means I have to cut down on the characters.
Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 1500 characters)
To answer this question, I asked my close friends and family to describe me, creating a long list to see what trait resonated the most. One descriptor stood out to me above the rest: "independent-minded". At first, I had trouble identifying exactly what people were referencing when calling me this; however, after some reflection I began to understand. I am a product of my upbringing, I was raised by divorced parents who are radically different from each other and lead almost opposite lives. My dad is someone who I'd describe as eccentric. Throughout my life he's pursued many endeavors from achieving great success in the tech industry, to becoming an artist. My mom on the other hand has been a lawyer from the beginning-a widely influential at that. As an immigrant she shaped her own path to success. Their different perspectives have shaped how I see the world. I've become someone who is independent and gained the ability to think for myself. An example of this came to mind: the essay I wrote to apply to my current school. As an eighth grader. I tackled the bold topic of how I would change the school system if I was a principal (though I realize now that's not exactly how things work). I often think critically about why the world works the way it does and constantly seek to learn about other cultures. I love understanding how things work and to have the knowledge to forge my own beliefs. This trait-being independent minded-is one i'm deeply proud of, especially since being able to think independently is only going to become more important as time goes on in the era of Ai.
Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 1500 characters)
To answer this question, I asked my close friends and family to describe me, creating a long list to see what trait resonated the most. One descriptor stood out to me above the rest: "independent-minded". At first, I had trouble identifying exactly what people were referencing when calling me this; however, after some reflection I began to understand. I am a product of my upbringing, I was raised by divorced parents who are radically different from each other and lead almost opposite lives. My dad is someone who I'd describe as eccentric. Throughout my life he's pursued many endeavors from achieving great success in the tech industry, to becoming an artist. My mom on the other hand has been a lawyer from the beginning-a widely influential at that. As an immigrant she shaped her own path to success. Their different perspectives have shaped how I see the world. I've become someone who is independent and gained the ability to think for myself. An example of this came to mind: the essay I wrote to apply to my current school. As an eighth grader. I tackled the bold topic of how I would change the school system if I was a principal (though I realize now that's not exactly how things work). I often think critically about why the world works the way it does and constantly seek to learn about other cultures. I love understanding how things work and to have the knowledge to forge my own beliefs. This trait-being independent minded-is one i'm deeply proud of, especially since being able to think independently is only going to become more important as time goes on in the era of Ai.
