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India and children future - Tell us about who you are

architphy 1 / 2  
Sep 29, 2020   #1

a rebel

In a country like India where a Childs' future occupation is restricted to two fields-engineering and medicine, I was one such child who tried to break these conventional notions in my community and dared to dream of pursuing an unconventional field like science. My family has always described me as a rebel for my unorthodox ways of tackling problems and I Am reputed for being persistent to excel in activities, showing no desire to quit till the point of proficiency. Without these traits I could have never achieved my proudest feat.

The journey starts in 8th grade, I participated in my first intra-debate competition to learn with no intention to win. It was my first time expressing myself Infront of a crowd because of which I was nervous. Soon, I got on stage ;my hands and legs started shivering, i started stuttering and felt my eyes tearing. After the incident, I was teased the entire year. The event hurt my pride and degraded my sense of self-respect, that's when I decided to pursue public speaking as an activity to prove myself. In the upcoming years, I competed in numerous MUNs and debates, lost a lot of them which made it difficult to continue but I worked harder and have finally overcome my fear. Today I have won more than 30 competitions, even organized them on a national level. This event made me realize how being stubborn and having the desire to prove oneself enables a person to achieve the impossible.

Samilonaire 1 / 4  
Sep 30, 2020   #2
before you go deep in the first paragraph, just give at least a sentence on what you understand about REBEL

of a crowd

, I was teased the entire year= u can simply put it in this way (I was teased throughout that year.

I got on stage; my ...

even organized them on a national level. = including those organised at national level.

I think this will do you some good.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,732 3069  
Sep 30, 2020   #3
I do not really see any rebellion in this presentation. Unless you mean that you rebelled by going against the norm with regards to the education you wish to receive in college. Being unorthodox is not the same as being a rebel. By the way, you should not capitalize the word "am" since it isn't a proper noun. I do not see the connection between being a rebel, your choice of a college course, and your public speaking embarrassment. You need to reassess this presentation to focus on something that will really depict you as a rebel. As of now, there is no rebellion in the presentation at all. So the title and the discussion do not match. That could pose a problem for you during the review process.

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