Every person hasthere own identity, a group they classify with,
and for me it's being Indian
Think you meant "their" instead of "there." However "person," "has," and "me" is singular while "their" and "they" are pural. Make sure your pronoun+verbs match!
My biggest concern was fitting in which I did quite fine but there would always be these racist jokes which was just pure ignorance.
this sentence is arkward and has grammar mistakes. try "Despite my concerns, I adapted just fine. However, ignorant racist jokes still bothered(mayb you can find a more fitting verb) me.
As a result, I joined Federation of Indian Association and became youth president chair which would spread our culture throughout America.
Remember to use commas.
In addition to center my impact around the community I joined the Indian Cultural Society in which I received an award from the mayor spreading diversity and culture throughout our community.
plz reread this. think your missing a few commas which stopped me from understanding this sentence.
Until the age of four, I was raised by my grandparents in India since my parents couldn't afford to bring me to America.
Theres a general rule that if a number can be written with less than three words, you would just write the words. It makes it more formal.
Mango's vision is really good so i dont think i can attempt and beat her's. but wow brown university is evil for forcing a 300 character limit!
anyways overall, i liked your topic. it shows you have diversity and leadership abilities. However, do grammar checks to make your essays more smooth.
also if you could read my GWU essays id really appreciate it!