I am from India, the 17th most diverse country in the world;Rutgers is a vibrant community

This is the Final Rough Draft of my College Essay. I know it could still use a lot of editing that's why I need your guys' help!

Thank you!
Rutgers Essay:
Prompt:
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

Essay:
I was born and raised in the 17th most diverse country in the world, India. Its culture and diversity shaped 13 years of my life where I learned to sharpen my interests in music, biology, religion, and sports. These interests helped me communicate with people of different culture and ethnicity and to respect each and every individual as a whole. As I got older, I began fascinating about the difference in other countries and my country. I was curious to find out what gems of life, education, and culture other countries held. Fortunately, God heard my prayers and we moved to United States. I was ready to take my skills to further use them to become a better part of the new community and learn what it had to offer. I am confident that a diverse community of Rutgers will benefit from my open and accepting nature and help me hone my interests.

Being raised in an Indian family, my parents put special emphasis on following the teachings of my religion. I respected their feelings and further nurtured and committed myself to understand and become a part of spreading the beliefs of my religion. For the past 4 years I have been part of the Swaminarayan movement which is a Hindu belief to attain eternal bliss. I became a youth group leader of the Anoopam Mission organization which promotes this movement and I try my best to teach the younger youth understand the concepts and teachings of this Hindu heritage. I believe that my unique personality to accept any culture will promote a friendly environment at Rutgers and help it become a safer and more welcoming place for students. In return, Rutgers, being such a vibrant place will provide me with a platform to spread my beliefs with individuals who are just as curious.

My interest in my own culture and other cultures has driven my interest in music and sports. While in India I learned to play piano and drums to enhance my understanding of rhythm in different kinds of music such as rap, country,classical etc. I was also on a school cricket team which competed in the nationals. After moving to United States I grew a sense to protect the identity of my culture and spread its authenticity so I started learning tabla which is a membranophone percussion instrument.Within a year of intense learning, I professionally performed with my teacher on a grand scale. My hard work was awarded when my I could see my parents' eyes sparkle with pride. I believe that Rutgers will provide me with the opportunity to reignite that sparkle combined with my drive and determination to further explore my interests. To stay competitive and be involved in sports, I joined the track and field team in my high school. It provided me with an amazing experience in life that friends are the most important possession. I believe by coming to Rutgers I will definitely cherish all the relationships I form with the wide diversity of people and maintain it after college. I also want to create club that promotes and expresses the simplicity, yet authenticity of cultural music so I can bring the community of Rutgers together.

By becoming a leader in my religious organization I realized that I enjoyed helping people, whether it is to help understand a specific thing or even just a simple gesture such as opening a door for someone. Therefore I joined a local community volunteer organization which helped the community in several ways. I got involved in various types of services such as repairing or renovating senior homes, assisting in local community events. Therefore by nurturing this experience and combining it with my interest in science, I want to attend a medical school and pursue a career in the medical field.

I was born and raised in the 17th most diverse country in the world, India. Its culture and diversity shaped 13 years of my life where I learned to sharpenand sharpened my interests in music, biology, religion, and sports. These interests have helped me to communicate with people of different cultures and ethnicities and to respect each and every individual as a whole. As I got older, I began fascinating about the difference in other countries and my countrymy fascination with other cultures and countries began to grow . I was curious to find out what gems of life, education, and culture other countries held. Fortunately, God heard my prayers and we moved to the United States. I was ready to take my skills to further use themto make further use of my skills to become a better part of my new community and learn what it had to offer. I am confident that a diverse community such as that of Rutgers will benefit from my open and accepting nature and help me hone my interests.

Being raised in an Indian family, my parents (when you say "being raised..." the parents are not the subject here, rephrase this) put special emphasis on following the teachings of my religion. (run-on -->) I respected their feelings and further nurtured and committed myself to understanding and become a part of spreading the beliefs of my religion. For the past 4 years I have been part of the Swaminarayan movement which is based on a Hindu belief to attain eternal bliss. I became a youth group leader of the Anoopam Mission organization which promotes this movement and I try my best to teach the younger youth understand the concepts and teachings of this Hindu heritage. I believe that my unique personality to accept any culture will promote a friendly environment at Rutgers and help it become a safer and more welcoming place for students. In return, Rutgers, being such a vibrant place will provide me with a platform to spread my beliefs with individuals who are just as curious.

My interest in my own culture and other cultures has driven my interest in music and sports. While in India I learned to play piano and drums to enhance my understanding ofimprove my expertise in different kinds of music such as rap, country,classical etc. I was also on my school's cricket team which competed in the nationals. After moving to United States I grew a sense to protect the identity of my culture and spread its authenticity so I started learning tabla which is a membranophone percussion instrument.Within a year of intense learning, I professionally performed with my teacher on a grand scale. My hard work was awarded when my I could seeI saw my parents' eyes sparkle with pride. I believe that Rutgers will provide me with the opportunity to reignite that sparkle combined with my drive and determination to further explore my interests . To stay competitiveget a feel for competition and be involved in sports, I joined the track and field team in my high school. It provided me with an amazing experience and taught me the importance of friendships . I believe by coming to Rutgers I will definitely cherish all the relationships I form with the wide diversityvariety of people and perhaps maintain them after college. I also want to create a club that promotes and expresses the simplicity, yet authenticity of cultural music (specify what you mean by cultural music ) so I can bring the community of Rutgers together.

By becoming a leader in my religious organization I realized that I enjoyed helping people, whether it is to help understand a specific thingby great efforts or even just by simple gestures such as opening a door for someone. Therefore I joined a local community volunteer organization in order to helpedthemy community in several ways. I got involved in various types of services such as repairing or renovating senior homes, assisting in local community events. Therefore(no need)By nurturing this experience and combining it with my interest in science, I want to attend a medical school and pursue a career in the medical field.

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dude thank you so much for doing this for me! I really really appreciate it! If you need help with any of your work I will be more than happy to do it for you

Thank you for the corrections! I applied today! let's hope for the best!

This exposure helped me network with people of diverse cultural backgrounds and ethnicity through which I learned to appreciate diversity and co-existence.


As I grew older, my interest in different cultures too got expanded and I began to learn about other countries and their people.


.... gems of life? What do you mean by that?